


Family first

by Lotto95



Series: SwanQueenWeek9 [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Divorce, Divorced Mommies AU, Eventual Relationships, F/F, Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2018-12-01 19:04:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11492736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotto95/pseuds/Lotto95
Summary: Emma and Regina have been divorced for two years, but in all that time Emma could never stop herself from loving Regina. So when she finds a way to return to their home town, had her mistake shattered their relationship with no hope of return or does Regina still hold a flame for her ex-wife?





	1. Divorced mommies au

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the prompt for the divorced mommies. Enjoy!

At night, the skyline view from her apartment window was spectacular. Emma looked out to it, glancing down at the busy streets even during the late hour, whilst pressing the phone to her ear. She counted the rings, heart pounding so loudly it overrode any other sound. Spinning around, she leant back against the large window, taking in the boxed up apartment. It was well furnished, spacious and the nicest place she’d ever lived in, but she hadn’t made a single memorable memory in the six months she had been here. On the tenth ring, the person in question finally answered.

“Hello?” came the voice on the other side, weary in ways which had Emma’s heart clench.

“Hi, Regina, erm…how are you?” Pushing off the widow, Emma began pacing around the apartment, stopping at the couch and lightly gripped onto the leather jacket flung over it, pinching the material between her fingers.

“I’m good thank you and yourself, dear? Is there a reason for your call?” Emma bit her lip, knowing she would have to do this sooner or later, the red material still moving between her fingers.

“Yeah, I’m, I’m good, thanks. It’s just…erm, I need to give you a heads up about something.” She sounded pathetic even to her own ears, but she shook her head and let go of the jacket in favour of making her way to the fireplace and more importantly, the picture she’d placed there the day she had moved in.

 _Mom! Have you seen my homework?_ A familiar voice bellowed in the background. Emma leant her head to the side, almost as if she could get closer to the two of them.

“You left it in my office,” Regina called back as Emma stood almost six hundred miles away, feeling as if she were intruding on a private moment, not listening to her son and his other mother. “Sorry, Emma,” she said after some movement and rustling came from the other end, “what was it you wanted to tell me?”

“How’s Henry?” she said instead, “I thought he would be sleeping by now. I can call back.” Or simply turn up at her doorstep with a feeble explanation, because this was proving harder than she’d anticipated.

“Oh, there was a festival and we got home a little later than planned, but he’s doing really well. He actually won an award for a piece of writing he did for an English paper.” Emma swallowed the lump in her throat, smiling as tears welled up behind her eyes.

“Good, that’s…that’s great Regina, I’m so proud of him,” she said, voice thick as green eyes scanned the empty apartment, “he’s a talented kid. Don’t know where he gets it from.” Emma tried for a chuckle, but it fell flat and the other end remained silent.

“But it is getting late, so if you would like to get on with whatever you need to tell me…”

“Right.” The shortness to her tone sobered Emma up immediately. This wasn’t some friendly call and she was almost certain her ex-wife resented the hell out of her, which made this even more difficult. “It’s about my work, they’re going to transfer me again.”

Turning back around to the fireplace, Emma ran her fingers down the picture of her two favourite people smiling back at her, hardly remembering a time when everything had felt that good.

Regina sighed audibly, “if you’re moving even further away and are about to tell me you won’t be able to see Henry as much then I suggest-”

“There transferring me back to Maine, Regina. Back to Storybrooke.”

“Oh.”

Emma spun and made her way to the couch, perching on the edge and waiting for more of a reaction. She hadn’t known what to expect, but there was a part of her which had hoped Regina would respond with at least a little enthusiasm.

“You only moved to New York a few months ago.”

“Yeah, well, there was a need for a detective in Storybrooke and because I knew the area, they thought I’d be best for the job.” It was a little white lie, but nothing that would hurt.

“When are you moving?” Regina’s voice came out strained even to Emma’s ears.

“I move in a week and I would’ve told you sooner, Regina, but they sprung this on me, but I rang as soon as I knew and-”

“It’s fine. I understand. I’m sure Henry will be happy to be able to see you more often, but I have to go, Emma, it really is getting late.”

“Or course-” her bottom lip trembled and heart sunk simultaneously; a bad reaction would’ve been preferable to none at all, “I’ll speak to you soon, I guess.”

“Goodnight, Miss Swan.”

“Night, ‘gina,” she said, throwing the phone besides her once the line went dead. It rebounded on the couch, not that she cared. Emma fell backwards and ran a hand through her loose strands of hair.

It could’ve gone worse, but the use of the name had her insides numbing and she remained slouched for a long time, the anticipation she had had over moving, morphing to dread.

***

The door to the mansion opened and Emma had to suck in a breath, not ready to come face to face with the woman her heart still went pitter-patter over. No matter how long it had been since the divorce papers had appeared on her doorstep, the feelings wouldn’t squash themselves enough the be gone for good.

The mayor walked out, wearing her signature grey blazer and skirt, a blouse underneath with just enough buttons undone, Emma had to keep her eyes uplifted at all times.

“Hi,” she said, uncertain, slipping her hands into her jean pockets and smiling shyly. Regina remained tight lipped, eyes glistening and nodded stiffly.

“How would you like a drink of apple cider?” Regina crossed both arms and didn’t make eye contact with the younger woman. The question had come out thickly and Emma wasn’t sure if it was a real invitation or a polite one. Either way, Emma had spent the day travelling and was exhausted by the time she’d made it to her tiny apartment, only unpacking the essentials.

“Got anything stronger?” Emma quirked a brow, pleased to note the small smirk appearing at the edge of Regina’s mouth. She tipped her head then turned, making her way back inside the mansion and Emma followed as expected.

They didn’t speak as they made their way into the study, Emma already knowing where she kept the strong stuff. As Regina handed over the tumbler, she smiled gratefully, taking a small sip and letting the burn wash down her throat.

“Tough day?” Regina asked, making her way to the couch, tipping her glass towards the one opposite, prompting Emma to take a seat.

She gave a little chuckle, “you could say that,” she said, falling backwards onto the couche, “but I’m glad to finally get here. I’ve got a few days to sort everything out before I’m expected at the station.” It would give Emma time to make her way around the town and reconnect with some old friends. She wasn’t sure how it was going to go and it made her almost as nervous as sitting opposite her ex-wife who had yet to make eye contact at all.

“I’m sure that’ll be good for you.” Regina sipped her drink, one leg coming up to cross over the other. It had Emma’s mouth going dry, remembering what it had been like to feel those thighs beneath her palms. Taking a large gulp of her own drink, Emma berated herself and put the memories to the back of her mind.

“How’s Henry?” she asked, steering the lack of conversation into the one topic they could converse over. Emma had wanted to know his reaction to the news sooner, but hadn’t wanted to keep pressing Regina.

“Good-” she nodded, her entire body rocking slightly as she did, “he’s excited to see you. And I’m sure you’ll be wanting to discuss some kind of custody arrangement.” She sounded as if she were talking during a meeting to a business client, “or we can talk about it another day, if you’re too tired?”

“Now’s fine, Regina and yes, of course I would love to be able to spend more time with Henry.” Their initial arrangement had been difficult enough, one weekend every month with her son, but after she’d moved to New York those weekends had seemed like a distant memory.

“I would wish to see your apartment first, though I do presume you have made space for him in your new life-” the tumbler found its way between her lips as she finally sought out Emma’s eyes, glaring directly at her. Emma shivered and bit her tongue, not wanting to get into an argument.

“My apartment is big enough for the both of us,” she said dryly. If Regina thought she would move here and not considered Henry at all, then she really didn’t know her ex-wife and how much she he missed spending time with him after her move.

“I propose every other weekend and one evening for a few hours after school to begin with. Though I have conditions which we can discuss at a later date.” The tone was irritating, but Emma smiled tightly and let it go, knowing she was the one to be the cause of it in the first place.

“Yeah, okay, that’d be…I’d like that.” Emma wasn’t sure how generous Regina would intend to be when it came to having time with their son, but she had said to begin with and the time she had been getting what a loss less than Regina’s proposal.

She finished her drink and placed it on the coffee table, wishing she had thought to take her time with it. Even with the hostility in the air.

“That’s settled then, you can see Henry tomorrow if you wish and you can start with your weekends the weekend after next.” Emma nodded profusely, desperate to see her kid and finally be able to see him more frequently.

She found herself smiling softly, “yeah, thanks, Regina. I’ve missed him.” Emma made sure to say the words softly and connected their eyes as she did so, hoping her eyes held more meaning. Regina visibly swallowed and looked down at her drink which she began to swirl.

“As has he.” If Emma hadn’t been married to her for a decade then she wouldn’t have caught the way her voice cracked. It made her stomach clench, the distance between the two couches seeming all the more wider.

“Well, I should get going and I guess I’ll see you tomorrow-” they both stood and when Regina nodded in her direction, the gleam in her eyes was more than evident, “I can see myself out,” she added, not wanting to put Regina through any more unnecessary pain.

“Goodnight, dear,” she said, smoothing down her skirt as Emma said her goodbyes then turned to make her way to the front door of the mansion.

It might only have been her first night, but Emma was beginning to see why she had stayed away so long. Under this roof, she was closer to her family than she had been in years, yet she had never felt so far away.

Existing the mansion, she took shaky breaths as she once again, left them behind.

***

After spending a good few hours of her morning unpacking, Emma’s stomach growled only for her to walk around her apartment to find a half empty bag of chips and a candy wrapper from the dinner she’d had the night before. Emma knew she would have to face the familiar faces of this town at some point, but had half been hoping she could push of the inevitable.

On the way to the store to pick up the groceries, Emma slowly drove past Henry’s school, a mixture of anxiety and excitement to finally see her kid. The last visit had been over a month ago and she had missed him terribly. She drove her bug into the parking lot, getting out of the car and shoving the door shut, silently wishing she could get in and out of the store as quickly as possible.

Until she walked down an aisle, cart nearly full and an old friend did a double take.

“Emma? What are you…what are you doing here?” Rushing over she enveloped the young woman into a hug, circled her back a few times before leaning back then gripped each shoulder. “Is it…Regina? Are you guys back together?”

“Hi, I’m great and you?” The woman with the pixie cut hair-do rolled her eyes and let Emma go, crossing her arms.

“I’m fine, but you didn’t answer any of my questions. So…are you?” She looked hopeful, which wasn’t unusual considering the woman had the most positive outlook a person could possibly have. To the point it was almost infuriating.

Emma shook her head with a sad smile, “no, I got another work transfer-” she swallowed, only wishing that were the reason for her return, “she still hates me.”

“Oh, Emma. I’m sure that’s not true. Maybe you both simply need to reconnect. That type of love doesn’t simply vanish into thin air.”

Emma sighed, “tell that to Regina. Anyway, I’ll catch up with you soon, but I really need to go and finish unpacking. I’m seeing Henry after school, so I need time to get things sorted.”

“Well, take care, Emma-” she planted a quick kiss to her cheek, “if you need anything don’t hesitate to call. And don’t be a stranger, both me and David would love to have you over for dinner one night.”

“Thanks Mary-Margret. I’ll see you around.” She began to push the cart, giving the woman who had treated her like family a tight smile as she passed. They’d kept in contact, but not nearly as much as she should have.

Emma had managed to do the rest of her shopping without bumping into anyone she had once known. Even the person behind the desk wore a new face. That was until she was at her bug, unloading the bags into the trunk when a blonde woman leant against her car.

“Hurt her and you’re dead,” she said, pushing the sun glasses up through her hair.

Emma shut the trunk with a bit of more force than needed, “hi, Katherine-” she paced backwards and crossed her arms, “nice to see you too.”

“I mean it-” her heel pushed off Emma’s bug and she had to hide her wince, “she still loves you after everything you put her through, so if you think you’re going to worm your way back into her life only to hurt her again, then you’re dead.”

Emma nodded tightly, suddenly unable to form words. She’d only known what she had gone through and because Regina was Regina, she had simply gone from caring to being short with her, any pain she had been feeling would’ve been hidden. Except from her best friend. That short list including Emma at one point.

“If I hurt her you have permission to kill me. I’ll write a statement to give you immunity,” she said dryly, knowing she couldn’t actually do that, but her badge made it a joke…almost. Not in the mood for Katherine, Emma pulled open the door to her bug and gave her a glare.

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.” She made her way around to Emma’s side, which had her sighing internally and when she was close enough she poked her chest between words, “don’t…mess…it…up.”

The next thing Emma knew she was being pulled in for a tight hug, bottom lip trembling as she hugged her friend with all of her might. Regina may have gotten her in the divorce, considering they had been friends before Emma had even met Regina, but over the years they had made a friendship too.

“I still love her too,” she whispered into the crook of her neck.

“I know you do and I’m telling you, if you want her back it’s going to take more than a bouquet of flowers. But if you dare hurt her again, then I won’t let you get another chance.” Emma nodded and pulled away, glad there was some people still rooting for her relationship. She hadn’t been sure what she was going to return to, but this was more than she could’ve hoped for.

“I won’t.” Emma would try her hardest not to let Regina get hurt again, no matter the cost to herself. “I guess I’ll see you around,” she said, now Katherine had let her go and was taking steps backwards.

“Bye loser,” she called over her shoulder, which had Emma smirking during the entire ride back to her apartment.

***

“Mom!” Henry came crashing down the stairs whilst Emma had been waiting at the bottom. It felt strange, being back in her home but feeling so out of place and uncomfortable. Then Henry was barrelling into her and she had her arms around him and everything didn’t feel as bad.

“I missed you,” she whispered, holding her son close. The pair had their eyes closed as they clung to each other for a good few minutes. Regina had walked into the foyer during their embrace and Emma knew she was leaning against the door frame by the way her heels had clipped and stopped a little distance from them.

Henry broke free, “I missed you too-” he glanced towards his mother then back at Emma, mouth opening before looking to the mother still leaning against the wall, “could mom stay to play video games?” he asked, not sure who he should be asking.

Emma looked towards Regina, swallowing at the longing in her eyes. Family hugs had been a frequent occurrence in the swan-mills household, but now their family was no longer whole, so one of them was left out in the cold as there was no more family hugs to be had. Though, Katherine’s words were still planted firmly in her mind; it wasn’t as if Emma had planned to come back here to win her ex-wife back, but deep down, it was all she could think to do.

“If your mother is okay with that?” Emma nodded at Regina, trying for a small smile before turning to face her son with a wide one. It pushed on her cheeks and although she was more than happy to have time with her son, it felt fake.

He grabbed onto her hand, dragging her into the next room, “you gotta play this with me,” he said, handing her a controller and plonking on the couch next to her. They began to play the game, a huge chunk of time rolling past unnoticed, until Regina came from behind them, one hand falling to Emma’s shoulder.

Emma spun as the hand was snatched away. Regina cleared her throat and crossed her arms, not looking in Emma’s direction.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, as if she had to apologise for their past seeping into the here and now, “but dinner will be ready shorty, Henry. Time to say goodbye.”

“Aww, mom, can’t she stay for dinner?” He twisted his head and pouted, but Regina’s eyes had hardened and she was shaking her head-

“Sorry, Henry. I still have a lot of unpacking to do. Maybe another time-” she glanced to Regina with a nod, knowing when she wasn’t welcome. To stay it stung was an understatement, but Emma had to hold onto the hope it wouldn’t be this way forever.

***

Monday morning rolled around and Emma found herself sitting behind a desk at a station she used to love. She had a bigger office than before, the promotion seeing to that, but her officers were the same ones she had once thought of as almost family. Now she ranked over them and had already had to boss them around a little bit, but so far, she’d received pats on the backs and the station had been filled with the banter she had once been accustomed to.

Each foot stomped onto her desk as she leant back in her chair, sighing deeply as so many memories of this place came flooding back. The way Henry would sometimes visit after school when she was working on a late shift or the occasional time she and the very gorgeous mayor had spent some _quality_ time together in her office, the door shut and locked. But a particular memory came fore front and centre…

_They had been waiting on the news for weeks after having discussed the pros and cons of Emma potentially taking a promotion in Boston. Regina had shifted a few meetings around so she could be at the station when Emma finally got the news. Their hands had been clasped tightly together as Emma’s phone rang. She’d picked it up whilst her wife gave her a reassuring smile._

_Emma had been silent for most of the phone conversation, not giving anything away until the director of chief at Boston PD had finished speaking. In disbelief, Emma had placed the phone on her desk, turned to her wife, “I got it,” she’d said, still unable to process the news._

_“Emma!” Arms had wrapped themselves around her body then lips were being pressed to hers firmly. “I’m so proud of you,” she’d said then kissed her again._

_That night they had sat down and talked for hours about what they planned to do. Emma had three weeks to move to the city, but Regina wouldn’t be able to finish her term out within that time. She didn’t want to leave her Mayoral position suddenly, so like always, they worked together to find a solution._

_“That’s what we do,” Emma’d said, a hand squeezing Regina’s thigh from where she had been sat next to her on the couch, “I move to Boston and see how it goes-”_

_“And I’ll finish my term whilst we look for schools.” They’d both nodded and Emma had leant forwards to capture her wife’s lips in a lazy sloppy kiss._

_“Then, if everything works out, you and Henry will move up to Boston in three months and we’ll start a new adventure together.” Regina had smiled and kissed her again, humming as she did so. It had led to them shedding clothes as they tumbled their way up the stairs, kissing and laughing and spending the night making love and having some of the hottest sex Emma had ever experienced._

Her phone bleeped, pulling Emma away from her thoughts. For a second, she had hoped it was Regina, but it was simply a message from her phone company. Flinging it back onto the desk, she fell back into her chair, wondering how their seemingly perfect plan had ended up going so wrong.

During the three months Emma had commuted often and Regina and Henry had made a few trips to see her, but as those months went by, it became seemingly obvious something was wrong. Then it came time for Regina to leave the office, but as elections started up again, she began to hesitate about the move, uncertain what it would mean for her career and not wanting to pull Henry out of a school he loved.

Emma had been loving her new position in Boston, but Regina changed her mind about moving. She had asked Emma to come back, but instead of giving up her job, she had convinced herself she could make both work.

Ultimately, she had made the biggest mistake of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this became longer than expected, so I've split it into a few chapters. The second of which will be for the 'parent trap' prompt, so I'll upload on Saturday, with the last chapter either going up the same day or very shortly after. It feels a little rushed, it probably could've gone on for a lot longer, but I hope you like this and stick around :) 
> 
> There's also a little chance the rating might go up for the next chapter ;)


	2. Parent trap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sqw prompt 'parent trap' and the next chapter of the story. 
> 
> Rated M

Emma had been back for a few weeks and had settled into a decent routine. Though in all the time she had been here, her interactions with Regina were always short. She was beginning to feel a little frustrated, but didn’t know how to go about any of it.

“Is everything alright, Emma?” Mary Margret asked, sliding into the dining room chair next to her guest and placed too plates in front of them with their deserts, “you seem a little down.”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” She immediately dug into the chocolate cake, moaning as the sweet desert hit her tongue. Covering her mouth loosely with her palm, she gave her friend an appreciative glance, “this is freaking amazing.”

“Still have your sweet tooth, I see?” She dug into her desert and they both sat in comfortable silence until they had finished. After taking the plates away, they both moved over to the couch, Emma sitting hunched over with her legs bouncing.

“Okay, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?” Although she appeared like a sweet little soul, Mary Margret had some bite in her and would always come out fighting when it came to her friends. Not always seeing things from a point of view other than her own, but she would try to help.

Emma shrugged, “Regina’s avoiding me-” she twisted her head to make eye contact, “I thought it would’ve been easier being here, but it’s only seemed to make things harder.”

“Have you actually tried to spend some time with her?” She raised a brow, knowing it wasn’t as if Emma had attempted to make a move on the mayor.

“No,” she shook her head, wondering why on earth she thought that would be a good idea, “it’s not like I can just ask her out on a date.”

“Why not? It’s not as if it has to be a ‘date’ date, just ask her out for coffee or something. I’m sure the moment you get talking all of those good feelings will come flooding right back.”

“You sound like Katherine.” Emma chuckled, because maybe it was obvious to everyone around her that they could simply get back together, but they weren’t on good terms and although Emma could tell Regina was uneasy around her and looked as if she was in pain anytime they had gotten too close…in love? She wasn’t sure if Regina even wanted her back.

“Then for once we have something in agreement.” Those two weren’t the best of friends, mainly because of some ridiculous feud Regina and Mary Margret had had over the years. When they were teenagers, Mary Margret had let it slip that Regina and her boyfriend had been sneaking out to see each other, so when they were caught kissing in the back seat of his parent’s car, they were forced apart, her boyfriend ending up being shipped to live with some other relative. She had blamed Mary Margret since and had been a little more than miffed as Emma had become friends with the woman.

“Look, Emma. I see you have two options. Continue to be miserable or make a move and if it doesn’t work out, nothing would’ve changed. But if it does…”

“Yeah, I…suppose you’re right. I just don’t want to make things worse and it ending up affecting Henry.” It was a real concern, but knowing they had divorced and so far had be able to keep things civil enough between them for the sake of their son, it was likely they could get through anything for him.

“Henry will be just fine and I’m sure he’ll also be happier with the two of you back together.” She smiled at Emma, knowing she had just won.

“Fine-” she fake huffed and rolled her eyes, knowing a push was what she had been after, “I’ll ask her out. But if it comes back to bite me in the ass, I’m blaming you.”

***

Emma hadn’t been back to Regina’s office in a long time. It had been filled with so many good memories of their decade long marriage. The times they would end up lying on Regina’s couch, making-out and fooling around like teenagers or when Regina had set up a small playpen in the corner of her office for the times they were both working and couldn’t get a sitter. The lunch breaks they would spend together. The meetings where Regina would squeeze Emma’s thigh beneath the table whilst she was supposed to be talking. The first time Emma had gone to the mayor…

_Both palms were sweaty, so Emma had to shuffle the bouquet of flowers from one hand to the other, wiping the spare hand down the front of her jeans. She waited outside of the office door, breathing deeply to calm herself down, not that it was working. The mayor was out of her league, but their meetings always overrun because they ended up going completely off topic and spending hours talking about anything and everything._

_Emma wasn’t sure if that meant anything or not. She was twenty-two and hadn’t been in a serious relationship her entire life. A few casual ones here and there, but nothing had made her feel this way._

_After another moment had passed, Emma knocked on the door and waited for the ‘come in,’ to be shouted. Swallowing, she pushed open the door and tried to push up her cheeks._

_“Hi,” she said, as Regina sat back in her chair, eyes wide at the flowers, “I brought you these.” Suddenly, her cheeks flamed and Emma shuffled from foot to foot, regretting her decision._

_Until Regina smiled, stood and made her way over. “These are beautiful,” she said, taking them from Emma, “thank you.” Her hand went to Emma’s bicep, squeezing softly and she leant forwards to press a kiss to Emma’s cheek. The warm hand and soft lips had Emma’s heart rate increasing and she remained flushed even after Regina had pulled away to go and put the flowers in a vase._

_“Was there any particular reason you bought these for me?” She smirked at Emma, from where she had placed the vase on her windowsill, pouring some water into the bottom._

_“I…” her stomach clenched, but she knew it was now or never, “could I take you out?” Bouncing on the balls of her feet, Emma wondered if she sounded as pathetic to Regina’s ears as she did to her own. Regina was twenty seven and five years was hardly much of an age gap, but she seemed so put together in comparison to Emma._

_“On a date?” Regina leant on the back of her palms, leaning against her desk and eyed Emma up. “I don’t know, I mean, there’s this gorgeous sheriff in town, with beautiful green eyes and blond hair, with a figure to die for, how would someone in a terrible red leather jacket compare?”_

_Regina smirked and Emma bit her lip, her jacket already becoming a point of teasing. It took a second for the compliments to hit and by the time they did, Regina had already made her way across the office and circled her arms around Emma’s neck. “And I would much rather skip to the end of the date.”_

_“Oh gods, yes.” Her hands were on Regina’s hips and nothing had ever felt so good, not until Regina leant forwards, connected their lips and began to explore Emma’s mouth with her tongue. All Emma could seem to do was hum and let it happen._

_“I’m free Friday night,” she said, pulling away but staying in close to Emma, “give me a call and let me know when you’ll be picking me up-” she winked and gave Emma another cheeky kiss._

_“I’m not going to make it to Friday if you keep on kissing me.” Regina chuckled and kissed her again, Emma already knowing she would never want to kiss another woman in her lifetime._

The first kiss was one of Emma’s favourite memories and there was a part of her which had hoped it could go as well the second time around. Knocking on the door, she wiped her palms down her jeans as she had once done and again waited for the, ‘come in’ to sound. There were no flowers this time, because that had happened almost fifteen years ago, what with the two years they’d been together before Regina had proposed, the marriage and the time spent apart.

Emma walked into to the office to find Regina behind her desk and Henry sprawled over the couch, reading a comic. She instantly relaxed at his presence, because having Henry around might make Regina more agreeable.

“Emma.” Regina fell back into her chair and sighed, their eyes connecting and Emma smiled shyly.

“Mom!” Henry twisted his head from where he was lay on his stomach, smiling up at her.

“Hey kid. Regina, hi-” she walked closer to the desk, unsure as to whether she should sit down or not, “I, erm…came to ask if, you would maybe…want to get coffee some time?”

Regina chuckled incredulously, “you have some nerve, to come back into town and less than three weeks later ask me out on a date.” Shaking her head, she looked back down as if she were about to concentrate on her work, “if you didn’t understand that, it was me saying no.”

Although the words stung, that was the most she had gotten out of Regina in a long time. Emma couldn’t decide if it were a good or a bad thing. “It doesn’t have to be a date, I just want to talk to you.” Perhaps she had hoped for a date, but getting a yes was the longest of long shots, so she tried for a different tactic, “just so we can get on the same page, you know? With Henry and us and-”

“There is no ‘us’ dear.” Regina didn’t look up, nor glance in her direction, though Henry did sigh, very loudly. He had witnessed a few fights, sometimes caught in the middle of their bickering – it wasn’t like they went the nine years since they had brought Henry home and lived under the same roof without fighting – but they did try to keep it civil when he was around.

Both his mothers looked in his direction, Emma secretly hoping he would be able to sway his mother. Then he sighed again. “If you’re gunna fight can I go to Aunty Katherine’s house?”

Regina smiled softly at him, “I’m sorry, Henry, I didn’t mean to-” she glanced to Emma and tried to communicate without words like they once had and Emma nodded, thinking it best he leave in case they were unable to become less hostile around each other. Though it did give her a new angle to take, even if it made her feel slightly guilty.

“Of course, sweetheart, do you want me to give her a call to see if she’s in?”

“No that’s okay,” he said, a little too quickly, both Emma and Regina glancing to each other, “erm, I’ll just go home if she’s not there.”

He grabbed his comic, shoved it into his bag and kissed both of his moms on the cheek before either of them could catch on. They said their goodbyes and he was out of the door, slamming it behind him.

“Are you still here?” Regina raised a brow and Emma crossed her arms tightly.

“Yes, I am. It’s just coffee or it doesn’t even have to be coffee, but we can’t keep on acting like that around Henry. It’s not fair on him. I just want to talk,” she repeated, as if she could get through.

“I said no, Miss Swan or do you want me to call the building’s security?”

Emma shook her head, eyes glistening as she turned and paced towards the door, wanting to get out of there before she really did begin to cry. She pulled the handle, pushed it, tried to turn it, but it wouldn’t open. Frowning, she saw the slip of paper which had been pushed underneath. She picked it up and began to read the scrawny handwriting of an eleven year old.

“Is there a reason you’re still in my office?”

Emma turned with the paper in one hand, “we’ve been locked in, Katherine isn’t letting us out until she decides she’s ready to do so.”

Regina was by Emma’s side, snatching the letter from Emma’s hands, “Sorry moms,” she read, “but you both need to talk. It was Aunty Kat’s idea and she has the keys, so you both need to stop being stupid and talk to each other.”

Emma pointed to the bottom, “look he even signed it.” She thought it was cute, unable to stop the smirk, but Regina looked to her with hard eyes, making that smirk vanish.

“I’m not talking to you. They have to let us out sooner or later. Sit on the couch, play on your phone or do whatever, but don’t talk to me.” Regina spun and stomped back over to her desk, her phone beginning to ring as she did. She pulled it out, scoffed at the caller then pressed it to her ear.

“You come and let her out now,” she said as Emma made her way to the couch without making a noise. She had thought this would’ve been easier, but her eyes were now stinging as she fought tears.

“I hate you, you know that. No I’m…just let me…I’m not…things are over we’re…Katherine…let me…are you going to let me talk? Will you-”

Emma listened to the conversation, well aware Katherine was rooting for them to get back together, but the last thing Emma wanted was to be stuck in a room with the hostile mayor. Regina flung the phone on her desk, running fingers through her dark hair.

“I’m guessing we’re stuck here.” Emma was staring at Regina, wishing she could walk over and massage her shoulders, but Regina would probably throw her out of the window if she were to do something like that.

“Not another word.” Regina sat upright, not looking in Emma’s direction and pulled her paperwork in front of her. Not that she could concentrate.

Emma pulled her phone out, opened a game and began to play. When she couldn’t get passed level one, her bottom lip trembled and tears pooled in her eyes. Ones which began silently falling down her cheeks, blurring her vision, but she continued to play, not wanting to draw attention to herself or the face she was crying.

“Oh, for the love of god.” Regina fell back in her seat, a hand brushing down her face, “grow up, Miss Swan.”

Emma flung her phone to the side of her, brought her knees to her chest and buried her face, “just leave me ‘lone.” It wasn’t like she could considering they were stuck here, but the remarks and lack of care was hitting her in places she had known to exist.

“You’re acting like a petulant child not getting their own way. This isn’t exactly news, dear.” Emma didn’t look up, but she could feel those eyes on her as her shoulders continued to shake. Another minute of silent passed, where only her muffled sobs could be heard, until, “come on, Emma, stop crying,” came from Regina’s desk, voice softening in the slightest.

Emma hiccupped, sat so her back was against the couch, knees still bent up and used the back of her palm to wipe away her tears. She kept her eyes down, not once looking to the other side of the room. She flung her arms over her knees, fingers twiddling where they hung in the air.

“I miss you hugging me when I would cry,” Emma muttered, not daring to even glance in Regina’s direction, not wanting to see her reaction. She heard a loud sigh instead.

“I miss a lot of things, Emma, but it’s over. You can’t just expect me to trust you after what you put us through.” Emma’s head snapped over to Regina, eyes still red-rimmed but burning with a slight fury.

“What I put you through? You’re the one who bailed on me and choose your career over me.” Okay, so technically Emma had done the same, but Regina was supposed to go to her, they had agreed and it was Regina who had backed out, not Emma.

“Excuse me?” Regina pushed from the table, walked around it then began to pace back and forth in front of where Emma sat. She turned abruptly to face her, a finger pointing in her direction. “You’re the one who choose your job over your family. I wanted you to come home-” her voice broke on the last syllable, a stray tear making its way down Regina’s cheek, as her arms flopped to her sides in defeat, “I hate you.”

Emma didn’t know whether to comfort her or not, but the moment Regina wrapped her arms around herself and looked to the ground before muttering, “I hate you, because I still love you,” Emma was up and made her way to Regina, enveloping her in a tight hug.

Regina gripped onto the sides of Emma’s shirt, unsure as to whether she wanted to push her away or keep her close, whilst Emma had circled her arms around the woman, both hands splayed on her shoulders, keeping her close.

They had never done this, Emma had only had brief contact with Regina when she would pick up or drop off Henry for his visits. The divorce papers had come without warning, they hadn’t separated beforehand, though Emma knew something had been off with Regina.

This was long overdue.

Regina buried her face in Emma’s neck, this time the one to have tears streaming. “I hate you,” she mumbled, her lips brushing over Emma’s skin as she spoke, “I hate you.”

Emma held on tighter, one hand lifting to run through Regina’s hair. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, squeezing her grip, “I’m sorry, Regina. I messed up. I never meant to lose you.”

“Why didn’t you come back?” Regina shook in her arms and Emma found herself laying the side of her head against Regina’s, eyes closing as she felt how easily they still fit. She even placed a kiss to Regina’s head, before holding her in close again.

Emma pulled away slightly as Regina began to calm, hands going to her shoulders. She gripped onto them as if Regina would disappear if she hadn’t got a hold of her.

“I thought you would cave. It was perfect up there, Regina. It would’ve been so good for us and I found a really good school, but I never got the chance to tell you. I didn’t know, I would’ve come back if…the moment the papers came through I spent the day in a ball, crying. I thought it was too late and you wouldn’t talk to me, but if I would’ve known-”

Regina pressed her lips firmly to Emma’s, green eyes going wide where Regina’s had squeezed shut. Then they fluttered closed as Regina relieved the pressure, not opening her eyes as she began to kiss her way down Emma’s jaws in quick pecks.

“Regina.” Emma sighed, titling her head backwards, not understanding what had just happened, “we should talk.”

Regina kissed her way back up, “I don’t want to talk-” then kissed Emma square on the lips. Each hand slipped into the back pockets of Emma’s jeans, as Regina deepened the kiss, Emma very quickly and easily accepting. She didn’t know what this was, whether it was leading to make-up or a very late break-up sex or something entirely different, but she began to kiss Regina back, running her tongue over her mouth until she was granted access.

Regina hummed, a small smile protruding in the corner of her lips, “god don’t stop,” she moaned, Emma diving back in for another taste, Regina’s fingers gripping into her behind. Emma followed her lead, hands gently brushing along Regina’s hips until she found her ass, squeezing as their lips stayed connected.

“What are we doing?” Emma asked, hands still fondling Regina as she tilted her head back to look into her eyes.

“Don’t know-” she went to kiss Emma again, for Emma to move one hand and place it on her chest and raised a brow, “I felt the urge to either punch you or kiss you. Figured this would be more fun, doesn’t mean anything, I just need you to fuck me.”

Emma’s eyes dilated with lust, not understanding where the turn of events had come from and in the back of her mind, there was something screaming at her that this was a bad idea. But it’d had been so long.

She would do anything for one more time.

“A one time thing?” Emma questioned and when she received a nod, her lips fell to Regina’s, both hands back to her firm backside. She squeezed it tightly as Regina moaned, moving her arms up to circle Emma’s neck as she was lifted off the ground. Both legs wrapped themselves around Emma’s waist, heels dangling in mid-air as she was spun, them not breaking the kiss for a second. Emma placed her down on the couch, knees hitting the floor as she stayed between Regina’s legs.

Emma’s hands flew to the buttons of Regina’s shirt, “why are these always so awkward?” Emma huffed, placed her fingers in between the gaps and yanked in one swift motion, “oops-” she smirked up at Regina, ignoring the eye roll. Instead, she dived forwards, placing open mouth kisses all over her torso.

“Em-ma.” Regina’s head fell back as a tongue licked down her stomach, a trail of kisses following it, only for that mouth to make its way back up. Regina looked down, making eye-contact with the younger woman, “don’t you dare make love to me.”

The icy stare was back and Emma had to gulp, her stomach clenching, but not in a good way. That niggling almost shouting that this was a bad idea grow louder, but she ignored it, nodded and leant back on her heels from where she remained kneeling.

Regina pushed on the couch, pulling herself backwards until she was sat up against it, legs spread, heels digging into the ground, Emma’s hand slowly moving upwards over her thighs.

“Just fucking,” she said, staring into Regina’s eyes as she bunched the skirt up at her waist, fingers hooking beneath her underwear, “got it-” she yanked on them, Regina pushing on her palms to lift her hips, the material pooling around her ankles and she kicked them off, growing impatient. Emma remained on her knees, chest panting heavily and she scooted forwards, both arms cupping beneath Regina’s knees to place them on her shoulders.

“For Christ sake, just get your mouth on me-” Regina’s hips bucked and she grabbed a fistful of blonde locks, pushing Emma’s head downwards, a throaty moan coming from the blonde. The moment her tongue ran through her folds, Regina’s eyes closed and her head tipped backwards.

“Just like that,” she said in an almost dreamy state, Emma using the flat of her tongue to run from her entrance to her already swollen clit, the wetness growing on her tongue.

“Forgot how good you tasted,” she panted, going in for another lick, taking her time bringing out the pleasure in her ex-wife. She licked, sucked, swirled the tip of her tongue around Regina’s clit, listening to the different hums and moans coming from above. The grip in her hair tightened and Regina’s legs began to lift off Emma’s shoulders, widening in response to the growing pleasure, each heel dangling in the air.

“Em-ma, I need you to-” she looked down, making eye contact with the women who had her wetness smeared over her face and smirked, deciding her release could wait, wanting Emma to stay exactly where she was.

“Fuck me with your tongue,” she demanded, Emma instantly complying, sliding the muscle in as far as she could.

“Fuck-” she said after pulling out, giving her another lick as if unable to keep her mouth away, “taste so good.” Her tongue slowly went back inside, Regina’s hips lifting in search of more friction, Emma’s fingers gripping into the sot flesh of Regina’s parted thighs.

Regina purred, “don’t stop,” as Emma hooked Regina’s legs back over shoulder, tongue darting out to run along her lips, unable to stop herself.

Emma altered herself, leant one elbow on the couch opposite the hand Regina had gripped over the edge, her other hand coming up between Regina’s legs, fingers rubbing up and down the wetness.

“Want me to finger fuck you?” Emma lifted a brow on a smirk, lazily running her fingers up and down, testing boundaries, not sure how far she could push. All the while knowing no matter how much Regina loved her tongue inside of her, it was never enough to make her come.

Dirty talk had always been a part of their sex life, but this was new, this was Emma on her knees wanting to pleasure her ex-wife in any way she would allow. Then Regina moaned from deep within her throat, grip on Emma’s hair tightening once again, eyes closing as her head fell back once again.

“I want your mouth and fingers to fuck me until I see stars.” Emma slipped two fingers easily inside of her, biting her lip and simply sat on her heels, watching her fingers slowly moving in and out of her ex-wife, her own clit throbbing the more Regina’s head began to move from side to side, hips lifting and lowering in a slow motion to match Emma’s pace.

The feel of Regina’s warm thighs around her head, mixed with the scent of her lover and the feel of her warm heat had Emma un-popping and then slipping a hand down her jeans. She balanced herself by leaning her elbow on the couch, fingers pulsating inside of Regina and found her tight clit, circling it gently, not wanting to lose concertation, but needing some of the pressure to be released.

“You’re so hot,” she moaned, leant her shoulder against the couch, one hand wiggling inside her jeans and brought Regina’s clit between her lips, sucking gently. Regina moaned louder, hand yanking at Emma’s hair, keeping her firmly in place. Those legs wrapped themselves around Emma’s head as her head thrashed from side to side and hips bucked widly, fucking herself on Emma’s fingers and mouth.

“Emma…Emma…Emma,” she repeated, “fuck…don’t stop…right,” her chest tightened as Emma stroked the inside of her walls, knees aching on the ground and position beginning to become slightly uncomfortable. Regina’s eyes squeezed tightly, “fuuuuck,” came the low grunt, Emma sucking more firmly.

Regina held her breath, hand pushing on the couch as her walls began to spasm. Emma kept up her ministration, fingers on her own clit rubbing quicker in search of her own release, the two women moaning and panting together. Regina’s hips lifted when her climax hit, she grunted then her body slouched onto the couch, fingers slid from blonde locks and her legs went limp and dangled over Emma’s shoulders, heels gently tapping against Emma’s back.

Emma pulled her mouth away, fingers slowly coming out of Regina, them glistening and going straight into her mouth. She sucked on them, the taste giving her one final push, the fingers inside her jeans rubbing quick circles, hips bucking into her own hand and her eyes squeezed shut whilst she muttered a, “fuck,” under her breath, the hand in her jeans stilling now her panties were smeared in her wetness.

“My gods,” Regina said, still with her eyes closed and head leant backwards, chest lowering and rising visibly, “I see you still know…how…to use that…mouth of yours,” she tried to sass between breaths, but it fell flat as she lay, spent.

Emma pulled her hand from her jeans and buttoned it back up, unsure if Regina planned on touching her or not. Not wanting to simply presume. Regina’s legs slumped from her shoulder’s, the older woman placing both hands at the side of her and pushing upwards. She looked down at Emma, as if as unsure as Emma felt.

Emma pushed back on her heels and stood, giving Regina a little space, when all she wanted to do was pull her into her arms, kiss down her jawline and run fingers through her hair. Regina pulled her legs back together, but remained seated, so Emma plonked down next to her, deciding to try to do that. She flung an arm around Regina’s shoulders, the older woman going to pull away, until one gentle tug from Emma had her leaning her head against where her legs had just rested.

Emma kissed her head, then leant her own on top of Regina’s, “you okay?” Regina nodded, closed her eyes and tucked her up legs, them both ignoring the stickiness between their legs. “You sure?” Emma asked quietly, worried that she’d done something wrong.

“I missed you,” Regina confessed, twisting her head so she could nuzzle Emma’s neck, “I wanted you to come back to me. I filed for divorce when I was angry, but I thought they’d make you come back home.”

Emma sat and listened, other arm coming around to rub up and down Regina’s side.

“You wouldn’t even let me talk to you,” Emma said, remembering how hard it had been to even communicate with her back then, “I thought you didn’t want me back.”

Throwing an arm over Emma’s waist, Regina moulded herself into Emma’s body.

“I’ve always wanted you back,” she confessed, the closeness and way Emma was so willing to try again had the hard exterior melting away, “but I don’t know if I can trust you.”

“Let me take you out to dinner. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, it’s the least I can do after we just fucked, it’s not like I wouldn’t do it for another woman.” Emma cringed at her poor word choice, not having meant it like it sounded. “I just meant…there’s no strings attached to the dinner, but I’d feel bad just leaving.”

Regina pocked her head up, “you saw other women?” The fire in her eyes had Emma suddenly feel it in her gut.

“You divorced me! If I saw other-” Regina began to pull away, so much sorrow in her eyes Emma felt the anger seep from within.

“I tried once,” she whispered and took a breath before connecting their gazes with a soft smile, “when I moved to New York, I told myself to try and move on. I brought a woman back to my apartment, we kissed, but I asked her to leave before anything more happened because I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”

“Oh.” Regina nodded, shuffling so she was sat upright, but with her arm pressed to Emma’s. “Katherine tried to set me up, but after I stood up the dates three times in row she stopped trying.” Regina moved the hand between them until it rested on Emma’s thigh, back of her hand downwards and palm facing upwards. Emma took the hint, twisting her shoulder to get her arm between them and slid her fingers softly up Regina’s palm until their fingers intertwined.

“One dinner,” Regina said, thinking how easily they had fit back together, “I’m not promising anything, but-”

“One dinner,” Emma repeated and smiled at Regina, squeezed her palm, a mixture of nerves and excitement growing at the anticipation of the date, thanking Katherine and then herself for ignoring the voice, thinking something good could come out of this, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cut the chapter short to get it updated today, so it's most likely going to be a few more chapters until the story is completed. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter...this keeps on getting longer and longer!
> 
> I've noticed the end notes keep repeating on the end of the chapters on multiple fics and I have no idea how to sort that out. Unless it is just on mine. 
> 
> But I hope you enjoy and I do promise an eventual happy ending ;)

The women had been sat in the same position for about thirty minutes, making small talk or sitting in a comfortable silence, when the door unlocked and Regina’s best friend walked in. Neither of them were expecting it, so by the time she had fully emerged into the office, they hadn’t had a chance to react.

“You two look cosy.” She raised a brow, thinking her work to be done, then made her way to the couch and crouched in front of it. Hooking a finger into the material, she lifted Regina’s underwear off the ground, “and I see the two of you have been getting reacquainted.”

“It just happened,” Regina deadpanned, pulling her hand away from Emma’s and grabbed the underwear, quickly shuffling back into them.

Emma sat on the edge of the couch, hands gripping over it, not at all too pleased with the sudden shift in Regina, “but, we’re going to dinner if you wouldn’t mind looking after Henry Friday night?”

Regina turned and widened her eyes at Emma, “who said anything about Friday? You can’t simply presume I’m free.”

“We just agreed on dinner,” Emma said softly, hoping with everything Regina wasn’t going to back out already, “if Friday isn’t good for you, we can do another time.”

“I’m happy to sit Henry anytime,” Katherine said, plonking on the couch next to Emma, “and you need to stop being such a hard ass.” She pointed at Regina to which she received a familiar eye roll. “I mean it, Regina. You just had an orgasm, you shouldn’t be so freaking upright.”

She hadn’t been whilst she had remained in Emma’s arms. Not that she wanted to point that out; no doubt it would infuriate her more. Emma made eye contact with Regina and smiled softly, “it’s just one dinner, nothing more if you don’t want that. Go out with me this one time and if you still want nothing to do with me, I’ll back off. We’ll keep our contact through Henry and work. I promise.”

Regina breathed deeply from where she stood, nodding tightly and in quick succession, “Friday works, you can pick me up at eight.”

Katherine gave Emma’s shoulder a squeeze, giving her a ‘I don’t know how you managed that’ look, then made her way over to Regina. Emma did, she knew Regina better than she knew herself. If she continued to push then all it would achieve would be Regina pushing back twice as hard. Emma could already tell she was caving, wanting the comfort whilst holding onto the anger. If she backed off and gave Regina some control, there was a chance she would find her way back.

“I can’t with you two,” Katherine said, pecking Regina’s cheek, “if either of you back out I’m going to lock you in here again until you sort it out. Worked the first time.” Then she was off, chucking the keys at Regina and made her way out of the office.

“Just one dinner,” Emma said again, Regina’s eyes filling as she nodded once.

***

The nerves were nothing compared to the way her breath was stolen at the sight of Regina. She wore a red loose flowing dress, pleated at the bottom, open with a fair amount of cleavage exposed at the top. The tall black heels clipped as she stepped off the porch outside the mansion, black and silver clutch under her arm. Make-up was minimal, a faint hint making each eye smoky in a way which looked understated. Her hair had grown some length since Emma had last saw her, it almost reaching her shoulders in loose curls.

“You look beautiful.” Emma couldn’t stop the words if she had wanted to, eyes roaming from heels all the way to those stunning eyes once they had met in the middle. Regina connected their eyes at the words, as if forgetting for a second this wasn’t a date night from years ago, them softening for a moment.

“As do you, Emma.” She had chosen a jump suit, black in colour with red heels and a red bag. The matching was accidental, though Emma had platted her hair so it went over her head in an arch, hair pulled back into a seemingly effortless pony tail.

Regina took a step closer, hand falling to Emma’s bicep where she squeezed softly then leant forwards to press a gentle kiss to Emma’s cheek. “I can’t believe we colour coordinated-” she chuckled softly, pulling back as Emma looked at her in surprise.

“Yeah, well, the last time I wore these heels you demanded I keep them on in bed.” She winked as Regina smirked, more than glad to receive a positive reaction.

“I’m only a woman and those heels are something else.” Brown eyes flew to them, the height, the way they showed off Emma’s firm behind, she had to take a breath or they would end up squashed in the back seat of Emma’s car. “And I recall you getting turned on by far less than heels, dear.”

It was Emma’s turn to roll her eyes, though she had a point. Not that anyone could blame her when it came to Regina. Anyone would be out of their mind not to find the woman stunning.

“Ready to go?” Emma lifted an arm, which Regina took without question and they made their way down the porch, the sky beginning to fade into darkness.

The only sound which could be heard were the rhythmic clipping of their heels, until the doors to an old bug were opened and shut. “I can’t believe you still have this,” Regina said, pulling on her seat belt and raised a brow at Emma, “seriously, didn’t this thing hit its expiration date at least a decade ago.”

After Emma had placed her belt on, she gently stroked the dashboard, “don’t listen to her baby, Regina’s just cranky.”

“You’re still a huge child, figures. You better get driving before I really do get cranky.” Emma simply shook her head, more than overjoyed to be able to relax and throw playful banter back and forth rather than the hostility she had received so far.

Emma drove away and put the radio on a quiet volume. “How have you been, anyway? I know we didn’t talk after…”

“I don’t regret it,” she replied softly, hands twiddling in her lap, “but it’s not going to happen again and if it does, I want to wait before we dive into it.” Whether she was wearing those heels or not. All Emma heard was _if_ which was a massive improvement from never.

“I just want an evening with you. After that, we can go as slow or fast or non-existent as you like.” Regina hummed in response, with Emma hoping she was doing the right thing. Katherine had cornered her only yesterday, telling her not to back off or screw the evening up. It hadn’t helped with the nerves. “Were you okay though? After what happened. I would’ve stayed with you longer, but you kinda chucked me out.”

Emma didn’t know whether it made her want to laugh or cry, until she heard a small chuckle, “remember when we had our first real fight?”

“Yeah, I remember.” She did and it had been awful. She had cried so much her eyes were constantly blurry. “Every time I tried to talk to you, you would give me the cold shoulder and ignore my existence. Three days in a row, hurt like a bitch.”

“If I would’ve talked to you I would’ve caved. The only person I wanted to comfort me, was you and if I let you in for a second, the fight would’ve been over. I iced you out because it was easier than admitting that I wanted you. Hurt like a bitch, too.”

Emma hummed, digesting the information. Usually, if Emma could manage to get her arms around the woman when she had been angry and trying to pull away, she would’ve melted into the embrace, letting go of whatever stupid reason she was angry over. Normally, it would’ve been something over ridiculous too. Then it made her smile, when she connected the dots, glad her arms still had the same effect.

“I still hate fighting with you. Regina, even if you don’t want more, can we at least try to get to a good place? You know, where we can talk to each other for five minutes without us wanting shoot daggers with our eyes.” Emma turned into the parking lot of the restaurant she’d planned to take Regina to.

“I was about to agree, but this is low even for you.” Regina stiffened in her seat and Emma shut of the engine, momentarily regretting her decisions. Then she took a deep breath, clicked of her belt and faced Regina, taking a hold on one of her hands.

“If this is going to be our last date, I want it to be somewhere special. If not, then we can add ‘the place where we got back together’ onto the list.” Emma’s thumb brushed gently over the back of Regina’s hand, her fingers squeezing against her palm.

Regina kept her eyes straight ahead, back rigid, “we have good memories here, I can’t believe you would think this would be a good idea.”

“When I took you here for our first date, I was so nervous,” Emma said, the other reason she had brought her here being something Mary Margret had said about their feelings coming rushing back, “I wanted it to be perfect.”

“You’ve told me this before, dear.” Regina had yet to look at her, seat belt remaining fastened.

“There’s something I never told you.” Emma pulled her hand free, reaching into her bag where she pulled out a long thin piece of paper. “I saved this from that night. You can even check the date. The writing has faded a little, but you can still make it out.”

Regina gripped onto the receipt, looking down first at the printed date which indeed was from their first date. “Why did you keep the receipt from the first time we-” she stared at the writing on the back, it having smudged in the slightest, but in black marker, there it was, _‘I’m going to marry her.’_

“Funny how you brought me here to propose.” Emma remembered writing that, but it had gotten shoved in a box and forgotten about. She hadn’t come across it again until she had been sorting through her things after moving. Emma had wanted to show it to Regina in person, but everything after that had happened so quickly, she had never gotten the chance. “I knew then you were the only person I would ever want.”

Regina took her seat belt off, opened the door and slammed it after getting out. Emma followed, finding Regina with her arms wrapped around her waist, the receipt dangling between her fingers. Each eye was glazed as she spun and faced Emma, “why would you tell me that now?”

“To try and remind you how much I’ve always loved you.” Emma made her way closer and Regina tipped her head to the side, fighting tears. Then Emma’s arms were on her shoulders before circling around her body. Regina crushed herself to Emma’s chest.

“This all hurts so bad,” she muttered from where her face was buried, arms tucked into her own chest, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or say or feel.”

“I know,” Emma whispered, both hands rubbing up and down her back, “and I’d do anything to try and take that pain from you. I didn’t mean to hurt you, if you would like to go someplace else-”

Regina shook her head, “no, I just need a minute. I don’t even know how things got so bad.”

“I think we were both being stubborn. I wanted you to come to me, you wanted me to come to you, but neither of us would budge. We stopped talking like we used to and then something fell apart.” Emma pulled back, hands gripping onto Regina’s shoulders as she looked her directly in the eyes. “I’m sorry, Regina. I should’ve come home. It was supposed to be a trail run and I knew those times you visited Boston you were hesitant. But I thought once you moved it would be different. You would like it as much as I did. I should’ve come home,” she repeated, her own eyes welling, “maybe you could’ve communicated with me a little better, but it was my fault, not yours. All I want now is to try and make things right.”

Regina took shuddered breaths, not moving her gaze. She didn’t know what to say, whether to accept the apology for what it was or demand more. Being around Emma was hard, but being away from her was even harder. “I need to re-do my make-up,” she said, turning away from Emma and made her way back to the bug to grab her bag.

Emma watched, holding her breath as Regina lifted the receipt only to stare at the writing. She tucked the receipt safely into her purse and Emma let out a breath. Regina didn’t move for what felt like a long time, fingers tapping against the clutch. When she did, those eyes were soft in ways Emma hadn’t seen in a long time and she slipped her hand into Emma,

Emma took the hint and they both walked in silence towards the restaurant, their intertwined fingers speaking louder than words ever could.

***

The rest of the evening went as smoothly as Emma could’ve hoped. The waiter had just handed them desert menus after Emma’s eyes had lit up and Regina had smiled at her with warm eyes.

“I’ll split one with you,” Emma said, peaking over the menu, “I know you won’t order one because you’re too full then end up stealing mine anyway.”

Regina placed the open menu on the table, clasping her hands and leaning on her elbows, “you choose and I’ll have a few bites. Would you want another drink?”

“I’m good.” She’d been drinking coke all night, eyeing up Regina’s wine. “You okay with chocolate fudge cake if I get the vanilla ice cream?” She’d never managed to finish that monstrosity of a cake, but it remained her favourite and Regina loved the ice cream, whether she wanted to admit it or not.

The waiter took their orders, with Regina ordering her fourth glass of wine, when Regina looked back to Emma. “So, tell me, how was New York?” So far, they’d kept the conversation to small talk, Henry and a few memories of their past.

“Oh, I mean, I liked the job. I was crazy busy all the time and you should’ve seen the size of my apartment. The view I had, you would’ve loved it,” she said, to which Regina simply hummed and nodded, no matter how true the statement was, “but…honestly, it was lonely.”

“I’ve heard it can be-” she moved her eyes away from Emma’s, not intent of delving into the underlying meaning, “can I ask what happened? I thought you liked Boston, made friends from what Henry told me. You were there less than two years, right?” Emma took a moment and realised Regina wanted to know about the time they spent apart and even though it was painful, Emma had grilled Henry for details on Regina whether they had been together or not.

“Only by a month and nothing happened, there was an opportunity and they asked for me personally. I’m good at my job, so I took it. But…Regina-” her hand fell on top of Regina’s and she smiled softly, “I still thought I would’ve gotten the same time with Henry, if I’d have known I wouldn’t have taken the job.” Regina didn’t pull her hand away, so she took that as a win.

“It was an unexpected move, I wasn’t keeping Henry away from you on purpose, I know you must have missed him.” Regina looked her directly in the eye, both of her own glistening, which had been happening a lot all evening, “the move hurt us both. I know we were no longer together, but it felt like you’d given up and moved on.”

Regina twisted her hand from where it had been palm down on the table, curling her fingers around Emma’s. Honestly, she liked it, “I never moved on from you.” Emma hadn’t, she’d been a shell of her former self, burying herself in work so she didn’t have to think about what she had lost. It had only gotten her so far.

“Neither did I.” They both paused for a moment, Emma holding onto Regina’s hand as tightly as she was clasping onto hers. “Remember those dates Katherine tried to set me up on? Well,” she smiled at Emma, moving on quickly “the first two attempts she set me up with women, then on the last she thought it might be easier to set me up with a man. You know how Katherine’s brain works.”

“I do indeed, I’ve sort of missed her. Don’t tell her I told you that.” She would never here the end of it, would have to sign a contract with the exact date she had said it and it would be framed and hanging in Katherine’s house, ready to be used at her disposal.

“Hmm, we’ll see.” Emma chuckled at Regina’s eyebrow raise, the playfulness of her tone warming her in ways she didn’t expect to happen, “I didn’t show up, so he called her and she met him in a bar to apologise. Then she took him back to her apartment, three weeks later she was peeing on a stick-”

“Oh my god, Katherine was-”

“It was negative, but she gave us both a scare. Anyway, they ended up dating for over a year and she was oddly nice to me the entire time. Kept calling it fate or destiny or whatever crap. Until she broke things off, of course.”

“Seriously? Only Katherine could set you up with someone, sleep with them and date them for a year. She didn’t tell me any of this.” Come to think of it, she had hardly seen Katherine except in passing or when she had been attempting to get her and Regina back together. She had to sort that out.

“You’re telling me. After they broke up I didn’t hear the end of it for nearly a month.” Regina rolled her eyes as the waiter approached, the two of them becoming aware their hands were still clasped. They pulled them apart so he was able to place down Regina’s drink and desert in the middle of the table.

After they’d eaten desert and Emma had paid the bill without hesitation, the pair left the restaurant. They walked down the car park, temperature having dropped by a few degrees. The moon was high in the sky, a few clouds littered around and there was a light breeze. It was a nice night and whilst they walked, Regina wrapped an arm around Emma’s waist, almost moulding into her side, which made it even nicer.

“Did you have a good night?” Emma wrapped an arm around Regina’s shoulders, tugging her close. It had been obvious since they had gotten up to leave that the other woman was a little more than tipsy.

“Hmm-mm,” she hummed, “I miss spendin’ time with you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” They reached the car, but Regina was reluctant to pull away. She buried her face in Emma’s neck, nuzzling her with her nose, before peppering kisses from her neck, up her jaw line until the found her lips.

Emma met her in the middle, the way Regina had finally begun to relax and let her in, encouraging her to keep tight arms around her waist whilst they opened and closed their mouths, lips sliding against each other’s. As they were kissing, Regina sneakily pulled the keys from Emma’s hand, pulled away with a cheeky grin, eyes glassy and opened the bug.

“Regina. What are you…”

After she’d opened the door and flung the keys in the backseat, she grabbed onto Emma’s playsuit and pulled her into another heated kiss. One which had Emma’s arousal spike. Regina tugged her closer and took steps backwards until they were at the bug. Emma couldn’t stop her mouth from sliding over Regina’s, more than spurred on by her moans.

Regina pulled away, “I need you,” she panted and fell into the car, dragging herself into the back seat. Emma was quick to follow, the door slamming shut behind them and the two squished, bodies pressed together.

“I-” Emma cut her off by pressing her lips down, fingers dancing along the inside of her thigh.

Just when she reached Regina’s underwear, tracing it as they swirled their tongues together, did Emma pull back and look into Regina’s eyes. “Are you sure?” she asked, to which Regina nodded, her head lulling slightly.

Emma dived up, head hitting the top of the car. “Oww mother-” she cupped the back of her head at the same time Regina tried to pull her back down.

“Come on, Em-ma, I need you touch me.” Emma shook her head, shuffling away, one hand on the handle.

She paused, because they had been getting along so well and she desperately wanted to connect again. It took thirty seconds for Emma to regain her senses and although there was a throb between her legs and Regina had hurt flash through those unfocused eyes, none of that mattered.

“I’m not taking advantage of you,” she said, looking Regina directly in the eye. She pushed open the door and swung her legs over the side, climbing out instantly. She stood and took deep breaths now she was back out into the open air. Regina had said earlier that evening that she wasn’t ready for more and here Emma was, ready to take any opportunity she got.

To say she felt terrible was an understatement, she should know better than to have even gotten in the car. When heels hit the gravel behind her, she spun to find Regina looking to her with an icy glare, perhaps a little more drunk then Emma had been aware of.

“Take me home,” she said, made her way to the passenger’s side and didn’t speak another word for the entire journey.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally an update! I know this took a long time, but busy doesn't begin to cover it. Partly because of my supernova fic, so if anyone would like to check that out!! Shamelessly self promoting ;D 
> 
> I'm going to try my best to get more updates out without huge chunks of time in between. This chapter is rather long, I hope you don't mind. (For anyone reading the other sqw story, I'm working on the next chapter too!) I've also given up trying to predict how many chapters this will be! 
> 
> Enjoy and comments are always appreciated!

Emma pushed up from the couch after someone had knocked on her door. She took her time, grabbing the empty wrappers on the coffee table opposite the couch, chucked them into the bin and threw the few dirty plates into the sink to be washed later. A few items of clothing lay around the apartment, one flung over the back of a dining room chair, some scattered over one side of the couch, but other than that, Emma had managed to keep the place relatively tidy.

She opened the door expecting Mary Margret or perhaps Katherine here to yell at her for not trying hard enough, but on the other side was the Mayor, hands clasped in front of her middle, wearing a tight shirt, blazer, skirt and heels. Emma had half a mind to shut the door in her face. “I don’t want to hear it.”

Regina had been pissed by the time they’d returned to the mansion, slamming the door shut and refused to even look in Emma’s direction. After Emma had gotten to the apartment, the guilt she’d been feeling washed away and instead she was filled with frustration and anger.

“Emma,” Regina said, as if the single syllable could change anything.

With one hand on her hip, the other gripped onto the middle of the door, fingers tightening around the wood. Regina shuffled slightly and swallowed, eyes diverting to the ground, “I came to apologise.”

Emma pushed the door away so she could cross her arms. “It took you four days. Again, I don’t want to hear it.” There was only so far Emma was willing to go, but doing the right thing and then getting condemned for it, that was one step too many.

“Will you please hear me out?” As Regina connected those brown eyes with Emma’s, something softened inside. Even in the past, Emma had struggled to stay mad at Regina when all she had wanted to do was offer comfort.

Emma ran fingers through her hair and sighed, unsure if she wanted to let Regina talk or push her away and risk losing her for good. Another moment passed then Emma stepped to the side and lifted her arm.

“Thank you.” Regina made eye contact as she said so, heels clipping against the laminated floor. She’d already seen the apartment during her initial ‘inspection’ which had irritated Emma to no end. Henry was her son too, yet Regina seemed to believe she had sole responsibility for him. It was both of their names on the adoption certificate.

“Would you like a drink?” Regina nodded tightly, so Emma was quick to make them both a cup of coffee then directed Regina to the couch. She cupped the mug and perched on the edge of it.

“I don’t really know where to start.” Neither did Emma; she’d thought she had been doing the right thing by being the bigger person and owning up to her mistakes, in the hopes it would allow Regina to forgive and come back to her. “I suppose I owe you more than one apology.”

“What’s brought this on?” Emma crossed her arms tightly and fell back onto the couch, content to glare at her ex-wife like she had been doing to Emma for weeks after her return.

“For one, Katherine put me firmly in my place and I’ve been thinking. I know I should’ve come sooner, but I needed to clear my head.” Emma could give her that one, but the silence had been killing her. She hadn’t even come to the door when Emma had dropped Henry off at the mansion the following evening.

“I think we both need some time to do that.” Regina smiled softly, as if they were sharing an inside joke. Emma supposed they were, not knowing if it were her who would end up the laughing stock. Trying to get the woman back who had filed for divorce.

“Well, firstly, I’m…I’m sorry for the other night. I know you did the right thing, but at the time, all I registered was you not wanting me.” Regina looked down, finger tapping the side of her mug, contemplating a thought running loose in her mind. She shook her head as if she could dispense of the thought completely. “Thank you-” she looked directly at Emma, “for stopping it. I know I already told you I wanted to wait.”

Emma nodded tightly, swallowing the lump. It wasn’t as if she wanted to make Regina feel unwanted, “I shouldn’t have even let myself kiss you.”

“Emma. You don’t have to beat yourself up over that. A kiss is one thing, but you could’ve easily done a lot more, but you didn’t.” She _had_ been beating herself up over it and perhaps it was a tad irrational considering they had been together a long time, mix that in with an almost date, a kiss at the end of the evening was bound the happen. She nodded again, pushing away any final feelings of guilt.

“Okay, I guess we both screwed up.” Emma sat up, took a sip of her coffee then placed the mug back down. When she did, Regina was looking to her with something filled in her eyes she hadn’t seen in a long time. She placed her own mug down, shuffled closer to Emma then took both hands in hers. Their knees touched from the way they were both twisted inwards to face each other and Regina’s thumbs brushed over the top of Emma’s knuckles.

“Why do you insist on blaming yourself?” The gentleness to Regina’s voice made Emma want to cry. She hadn’t realised how much she had missed it.

“I-” she shut her mouth and frowned, unsure of the answer herself. She had been blaming herself for two years, she supposed by this point it had become a habit.

“Look at me, Emma.” Regina’s fingers clasped tighter around her sweaty palms as she looked directly into her ex-wife’s eyes. “You weren’t to blame for reacting to me, you did nothing wrong.” Emma simply nodded, not risking opening her mouth and ruining the moment. Regina could be hard on the outside, but when they had been alone, Emma had so many fond memories of the soft side Regina rarely let anyone witness. “And I should apologise for the way I’ve been treating you and I shouldn’t have been mad at the idea of you seeing other people. No matter my feelings, that wasn’t fair.”

“Wow, what exactly did Katherine say?” Emma wanted to know, because this shift had been sudden and although there had been moments when Emma had thought the ice had been melting, it had never been to this degree.

Regina chuckled softly, “not much, actually. She came to the mansion the day after I rang her in my drunken state, after she’d demanded I get some sleep. At first, she hugged me, played nice, told me I was an idiot, completely iced me out then left.” Regina had been utterly confused and by Emma’s frown, so was she. “It hurt, obviously, but she gave me a text later saying she was sorry for hurting me, but had to prove a point and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing to you.”

“Katherine’s methods are still unorthodox, I see.” Emma didn’t know what else to say, there was a mix inside, one part demanding she knock Katherine out and the other wanting to hug her fiercely.

“It’s why I love her. Don’t get me wrong, I was angry, but once I’d come around and realised what she’d done had come from a place of love, I understood what I’d been doing.” Very angry, but Katherine was Katherine. A lot of people wouldn’t understand how she worked, but Regina did and that’s all that mattered. “I am sorry, Emma, I must have been giving you whip lash.”

“It took Katherine doing that for you to understand you’d hurt me?” Emma didn’t want to be angry, she didn’t, but goodness, Regina had never been this blinded to her feelings before. Yanking her hands away, Emma stood and began to pace. “Am I even doing the right thing here?”

“Emma, would you please let me explain?” Regina stood and paced to Emma then gripped onto her shoulders. If Emma didn’t love when she did that, held her so firmly whilst connecting their gaze. She didn’t even fight, just simply stood and allowed herself to feel connected.

“Then explain,” Emma said and swallowed.

“I’m trying to find the right words.” Emma nodded as Regina mentally went over how to say what she wanted to, not wanting to push Emma away or risk hurting her more, but to be honest she had to do both. “I didn’t mean to treat you like I did, Emma, but when you returned, I had these mixed feelings. It was easier when you were away, because I didn’t have to deal with any of it, but then you were here and for the first time, I realised what I had lost. You being back at home, but it not feeling like home, that-”

“That was awful,” Emma whispered, nodding to let Regina continue.

“Yes, it was.” There was a pause, which Regina used to contemplate what she wanted to admit to. “There was this deep twisted part of me that wanted to hurt you back.” It had been there when Emma had told her no and had remained in Boston. Regina had felt that in the pits of her soul and it demanded release. A strong part wanted to lash out, to fight, to make Emma feel the pain she had been feeling, but she buried it and it had lessened over time. Until she had returned and the mess inside her head had exploded.

Emma shook her head and pushed Regina away, not wanting to hear the rest. Not that it stopped her.

“You once told me that my thoughts were just that. It was my actions which defined me as a person.” They had eventually reached a place where Regina was comfortable expressing the darker sides of herself, with Emma reassuring her it was Regina’s actions which mattered most.

“I did say that.” How that filtered into the equation, Emma wasn’t sure. She had always known Regina had darker impulses; raised by an abusive mother, Emma could understand why. It hadn’t made the statement sting any less. She made her way back over to the couch and finished the coffee. Regina took a breath and followed.

“I know it was awful of me to think that, to know so much about you I could’ve used it against you.” Regina sat right next to Emma and gripped onto her wrist. “But no matter how much that part of me tried to fight, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t say things to purposely hurt you, so I iced you out. In a way to protect us both. I was scared if I opened my mouth, all of this horrible stuff would come tumbling out.”

“That doesn’t excuse-”

“I know. I could’ve been civil with you. At least for Henry’s sake. We should’ve talked, properly talked, the moment you returned. But honestly, I wasn’t ready to hear it.” She was ready now or at least that’s what she thought. Regina knew, deep down, that she had hurt Emma during their divorce, but she’d been so intent on her own feelings, how Emma had been the one to leave, that she had managed not to dwell on them. Repeatedly telling herself Emma hadn’t wanted her.

“I still don’t understand a word you just said to me.” Emma ran fingers through her hair, the morning beginning to give her a headache. She should not be this stressed on her day off.

“Seeing you made every part of me ache for what we had, but I couldn’t deal with any of it. I thought-”

“Me being around was harder, so by pushing me away it would be easier, less painful.” Emma fell backwards, tired of all the back and forth, but at least they were talking. Understanding was difficult, but they were getting there. “Did you ever want me back?”

Emma didn’t look to her, but her voice wasn’t filled with sorrow or pain, but genuine curiosity.

“I don’t know.” Emma nodded, but at least it was the truth. “Look, I need to sort through all of this before I can figure out what I want.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have presumed we could’ve just picked up where we left off,” Emma said, realising her mistake. As much as this was hard, it was far better than they had been handling things.

“No, but I understand you trying. It’s not that I don’t love you, Emma. Believe me,” Regina smiled when Emma twisted her head, eyes gleaming, “I’ve tried to stop, nothing has ever worked. But I think we need to deal with what happened before even thinking about going further. And I promise I’ll stop being so terrible to you. And I know-” she swallowed then connected their eyes, “I know the divorce wasn’t all your fault. I wasn’t blameless, but I’ve never been any good at admitting my mistakes.”

Emma sighed, “I know,” but let her eyes wander; at least it was something, “why is this all so hard?” And so painful, not that Regina didn’t have a point. They couldn’t expect to move on without working through their issues. “One thing, the other night. How could you believe I didn’t want you?”

It took a moment, Regina’s eyes stared at the ground, falling back to that awful time when Emma had been miles away. “You didn’t in the past.”

_It had been a month and so far, the distance was hard, but it had been working. For every day which passed, Regina would remind herself she was one-day closer to being with her wife. Emma had come back every weekend and as the Friday came around, Regina was relieved and excited to finally pull that gorgeous woman into her arms and kiss her until her knees buckled._

_There was only a short pile of paperwork left to get through, so Regina allowed herself a quick break. Emma should already be on her way, but it didn’t stop the way she dug into her blazer pocket to reach her phone. A frown settled on Regina’s face, followed by dread forming in the pit of her stomach._

_< <Call me when you have some free time. Love you xxx>> _

_It was probably nothing, but Regina pressed the phone to her ear and took deep breaths as the phone rang. On the third ring, her wife picked up. It was already odd considering she should be driving by now._

_“Regina,” she sighed and she could imagine the way fingers were running through tangled blonde locks, “do you have time to talk?”_

_“Yes, of course. Is everything alright? I thought you would be driving by now.” At least she had answered the phone and nothing drastic had appeared to have happened._

_“Yeah, I know. I’m erm…sorry to do this and know I miss you terribly, but I’m erm…I’m gunna stay in Boston this weekend.”_

_“Oh,” was all Regina could manage, the excitement fading and morphing instead to disappointment, “did I…did I do something wrong?” They hadn’t spoken much that week; both of them busy with work. A few text message conversations had happened and one brief phone call. It had only added to the urgency Regina felt to see Emma._

_“Hey, no, no, don’t think that,” she said softly and firmly in one go, “I’m exhausted from work and the driving to you and back every weekend is starting to take its toll. I need some time to recharge by batteries, that’s all.”_

_Regina nodded briefly to no-one in the room, “I understand Emma, I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but I don’t want you wearing yourself out.”_

_“I know baby, I miss you like a crazy person. Maybe next weekend you and Henry could come visit me and finally see Boston. There’s some places we could check out. You know the place I’m living in is too small for us all, but a weekend wouldn’t be so bad.” Regina had a mental imagine of Emma biting her lip, waiting for a response._

_“Let me get back to you on that, but Henry has been dying to go to Boston and I miss you too, my love. So much, I can’t wait to kiss you.”_

_“Hmm, me too. Like, so much!” Emma chuckled softly and it had Regina’s heart do a flip. “I’m gunna get going anyway, I’ve not even left the station yet. I’ll call you tomorrow and talk to Henry too. Is he going to be okay?”_

_“Of course, he’ll understand I’m sure. It’s not as if it will be forever.” Those words made Regina’s stomach clench; the previous month had been hard enough on them all, them doing this for another two months was something she didn’t want to have to experience. “Have a goodnight, Emma and get some sleep. I love you.”_

_“I love you too, Regina. I’ll speak to you tomorrow.”_

_The phone clicked off and Regina let out a long sigh. As much as she had wanted to see Emma desperately, she could see how the commute would be tiring. That was until Saturday evening rolled around and she hadn’t received a single call from the woman. Instead, she saw pictures she had been tagged in on Facebook of her drinking at the bar with no doubt her co-workers._

_Regina had felt a sinking in her gut. Emma would never lie to her and she was sure by the following day she would get a call and everything would be explained. It wasn’t as if she didn’t want Emma to enjoy herself and make friends, but knowing she should’ve been here with her and instead she had been out drinking after claiming she had been tired, stirred some feelings Regina didn’t want to put a name too._

_Perhaps the jealousy was irrational, but only a brief text came the following day apologizing for not calling. <<I got stuck at work>> the message had said and Regina had taken shuddered breaths and attempted to rationalise what had happened. It had stung and it was from that moment, that doubt crept into Regina’s mind and everything they had worked so hard to build had started to crumble. _

“I remember that weekend,” Emma said, frowning at how Regina had perceived it, “I had been stuck at work. They called me in in the morning and by the time I was ready to leave, some of the guys had asked me out for drinks. I stayed two hours tops. I didn’t mean to lie to you. I’m sorry it came across that way. The day after I was hungover to high hell. I’d done god knows how many shots in that time.”

Regina looked to her with gleaming eyes. That memory hurt in ways she couldn’t express, “was I being irrational?” Even back then she had thought her reaction was off, but throughout their relationship they’d learned to deal with feelings and talk to each other about them. It was the first time Regina buried them instead of sharing.

“Feelings aren’t wrong, I’ve told you that a million times too. But in this case-” Emma raised a brow and tipped her head, “maybe a little bit. I don’t understand why you didn’t talk to me. Is that why you seemed distant the weekend after when you came to Boston?”

“I didn’t much care for the place. I wasn’t being distant.” Regina regretted saying the words the moment they were out. They needed to talk, throwing up defence after defence wouldn’t do them any good.

“Regina. We didn’t even have sex. I felt more frustrated after seeing you, than when you were miles away.”

“I felt like you were pulling away from me. I know it was only one weekend, but it…it was harder than I thought it would be. After that every time you wouldn’t call or text when you said you would, it felt like another blow. The weekends turned into every other weekend and it just-” Regina’s voice filled with tears and she tipped her head back and looked at the ceiling, “it felt like you didn’t have time to talk to me. I wanted to tell you what was going on, but you weren’t there, so it became easier just to pretend.”

“I’m sorry, but you know how busy I was and every time I visited, there were chances you could’ve talked to me. I didn’t mean for it to appear that way, I really didn’t. But you’re right, it wasn’t all my fault, you could’ve told me what was going on. You waited until it was time for you to move to tell me you didn’t want to come. If you would’ve told me right away it would’ve made things so much easier.”

Emma took a moment to breathe. Regina brought her head back down. It was hard; being in this place was so much more difficult than Emma would’ve known. As much as she thought she had been to blame, she let go of that idea entirely. “Regina, I think trying to find fault isn’t the way to go about this. We talk about what happened between us. I mean really talk, like we used to and maybe we can understand how everything broke down.”

“Then we can try to put it back together,” her voice wobble as she spoke and Emma gave her a soft smile and nodded. It was what she had hoped. “I’m sorry for snapping just then. If I’m being honest, I’m in such a bad place. I’m hurting so much. I regret so much, I really do. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I know I hurt you. I feel like utter shit because of it and now I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“That makes two if us.”

At that, Regina shuffled on the couch, pressed one hand next to Emma and used the other to cup her cheek. Lifting up, soft lips brushed her temple. Then again, “I’m sorry,” Regina whispered, kissing her cheek, “I’ve been so hard on you-” her lips found Emma’s jaw whilst green eyes closed and let herself be comforted. The next thing she knew, Regina plonked herself down, legs touching and wrapped an arm around Emma’s shoulders, “I’ll stop being a hard ass, as Katherine likes to put it.”

Emma gave a little chuckle and let her head fall to Regina’s shoulder. Her stomach twisted in knots at what she was trying to do, “I’m not going to cry,” she muttered, but knew the moment Regina tugged her closer she was done for. One sob pushed out and she closed both eyes, Regina’s other hand coming across her body and grabbed onto her own.

“When you cried in my office,” Regina whispered down her ear, “I wanted nothing more than to hold you. I was a total bitch and if I have to say sorry a thousand more times then I will. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. For once…I’m the idiot,” no matter how many times she had called Emma as much over the years, “I’ve been the one who’s been letting all my feelings out whilst you’ve been holding it together. Now it’s your turn.”

Emma curled her feet up and rested her knees on top of Regina’s thighs, one hand clasped in Regina’s and the other arm tucked tightly into her chest. It was similar to the day she had read the divorce papers, though that time there was a pillow in place of her wife. This was much more comforting and for each second she found herself in Regina’s arms, she knew something had changed. They never used to be this out of balance. Everyone had problems and they weren’t exempt, but things had never gone so wrong so quickly.

“Why did you file those papers? If you wanted me to come home then why didn’t you say that and why wouldn’t you speak to me after if that’s what you wanted?” Regina sighed and pulled her closer. As much as she didn’t want to revisit that time, if there were any chance of them working through this, she had to be honest. It was the least Emma deserved.

_Regina had already put her name in for another term in office. She would have to run, but with only one opponent she didn’t see it as much as a challenge. She had become the youngest woman to ever receive the mayoral job at the young age of twenty six. Getting that job before age thirty was almost unheard of, but when Regina had ambitions, she went after them with everything she had._

_She wasn’t supposed to have put her name down. News had spread about it being her last term and it wasn’t hard to guess why with an absent sheriff. The idea of it, however, sent Regina into a downward spiral. They’d talked about it…briefly, before Emma had made the move, but Regina hadn’t anticipated the dread she felt about moving. The only time she’d lived out of state; had lived outside of this small town, was when she had attended college in New York. She had enjoyed those years, but had always known she would return to her home town._

_Now she was faced with leaving and had already called off the moving van. She hadn’t told either Henry or her wife, which she knew was selfish, was so unfair she’d had to dig nails into her palm when she had been on the phone. Emma wasn’t here and that crushed her heart. It had been three weeks since she had last laid eyes on the woman. They hadn’t spoken on the phone for almost a week. She could account that to the way she had become snappy and short, but neither had Emma attempted to ask what was wrong._

_Regina hated herself. She missed her wife. Leaving this town was the last thing she wanted to do. She thought she could’ve done it, she really did. Now the time was slowly approaching, her heart sunk and there was a permeant knot in her gut. Henry had begun to question her and she had been tight lipped, knowing at some point she would have to talk to Emma then her son in turn._

_“I miss you,” was the first thing she came out with the moment Emma answered the phone, “please don’t be mad at me.” Blood filled her mouth with how hard she bit into her lip. She placed herself down on one of the couches in the study, crossing one leg over the other. Her heart pounded so loud she wondered if Emma could hear it too._

_“Why would I be mad at you?” she said, more than leery._

_“You know I love you, Emma and I want you to be happy.” It seemed like a good a place as any to start. It was the truth, but her doubts and fears had won and now she risked everything. Even if Emma had promised and it was what she had been holding onto._

_“Of course, I know that, Regina. I want to the same for you and Henry.”_

_“Then…” her throat tightened and all she wanted was for Emma to be snuggled into her arms, “will you please come home, my darling?”_

_“Home?” Emma said thickly, “but…you’re supposed to be moving in a few days.”_

_“I know, Emma and I…I should’ve told you sooner, but I don’t think I can do it. I c-can’t.”_

_“Regina, but you…why didn’t you say anything? You’ve had three months and you’re telling me now?” Emma’s voice shook down the phone._

_“I didn’t know how to tell you. But will you, Emma? Come home to me and Henry.”_

_“Don’t use Henry,” her voice was thick with tears and it had Regina’s eyes gleam, “don’t Regina. Come to me, both of you. It’ll work, I know it will. Please try for me.”_

_“Emma, you promised. Please,” she whispered desperately, “please, Emma. You promised.”_

_“I can’t leave now. I have a job and friends and my wife and son should be joining me in days. Think about it, we can try and if you don’t like it in a year or six months or whatever, we can come back. Will you at least think about it?”_

_Regina swallowed, her cheeks damp, “no, I’ve made up my mind. I want you to come home. Part of me is being selfish, I know that, but you can’t say you’re not doing the same.”_

_“We had a plan!”_

_“And you said if I changed my mind at any time you would come back. You promised, Emma. I’ve changed my mind and I want you back here. Back home where we all belong.”_

_“God, Regina-” she was crying too, Regina could tell by the tone in her voice, “you could’ve told me weeks ago or sooner than right now. Why do you have to make this so difficult?”_

_“Me? Don’t you think I’ve wanted to talk to you? You’re not here and whenever I try to call you’re too busy or too tired or have every excuse. We can hardly talk through text for more than five minutes. I want my wife back, Emma. I want you back, but I can’t help feel like that’s what it’ll be like even if I moved.”_

_“That’s bullshit. You would be here and we would see each other every day. I am busy and I am tired. I’ve been working long hours-”_

_“That’s my point. You would be working and I would be doing…what exactly? At least here we both have jobs and Henry loves school and we have a home.”_

_“Regina, I wouldn’t be working as many hours with you here. I’ve been working that much to save up for a deposit for a house or someplace bigger. And because working was easier than coming home to a place where neither you or Henry were there.”_

_“I-” Regina slammed her mouth shut and felt her stomach lurch, “I love you-” her chin wobbled and she would’ve done anything to squash the uncertainties to go and join her wife. No matter what she told herself, she couldn’t do it. “Emma, please come home.”_

_There was a long silence followed by a sigh, “look, think about it for me. We’ve still got a few days and I want to stay here, Regina. I really do.”_

_“I’ve already told you my answer. It won’t change in a few days.” Regina knew it wouldn’t and she really should’ve told Emma sooner, but it had been hard getting her on the phone for this long. “Emma, come home. I’m not going to ask again.”_

_“You’re more stubborn than me. I’m staying here and you can broad about it all you like. This is the right choice and it isn’t like it has to be permeant, but you won’t even try. See for yourself what it’s really like to live here. Meet my friends and we’ll find you a great job. Regina, just…I love you, I really do, but you’re making something easy so difficult.”_

_The phone went dead. Regina eyes hardened and she placed the phone on the coffee table. It rang again after five second, but Regina hit the decline button. She didn’t want to talk to Emma. There had been some wrong doing on her part, but Emma was the one who had been making this difficult. She wouldn’t have anything out there, where as they would all have everything back here._

_On a deep breath, Regina wiped her cheeks then stood and walked over to the cabinet containing the whisky. She poured herself a large amount, continuing to ignore the vibrating phone on the table._

Emma shook by the time Regina had finished that part alone, so she took a breath to pause. Her forehead pressed to the side of Emma’s head, “I was scared,” she whispered, “without you I’d lost all faith in myself. I act strong and fearless, but I’m not. I was terrified to leave the security of this town. I missed you, but my insecurities were stronger. I d-didn’t m-mean to hurt you, m-my darling.”

Emma shook her head and swallowed down on the huge lump that had jammed in her throat. She had been on the receiving end of that call and had gone over it time and again, in excruciating detail since those papers had turned up. “You made me believe it had been my fault-” she pushed Regina away and shoved herself to the other side of the couch, “I blamed myself for years. Thinking if I’d just come home then everything would’ve be fine. I felt like I’d done something wrong.”

“I’d already felt like I’d lost you.” Regina clenched her fists to stop herself from moving closer, from reaching out again, “I’d forgotten how to talk to you, how to open up. I fucked up, but you were gone. You were just…gone and you were never coming back.”

_She had never felt so numb. Part of Regina welcomed it, because at least it wasn’t pain. She dragged herself up the stairs, flung her heels somewhere then crawled into bed fully dressed. Henry had come home at one point, small hands shaking the lump beneath the covers and if she didn’t already want to shrivel up into a ball, that made her. But she couldn’t face his hopeful eyes and put on a smile. She’d already text Katherine and had hoped she would’ve arrived before her son had. It had crushed her and her mind screamed at her to get up and go to him, but her body was numb._

_Katherine was the next to show up in her room. She’d informed her that Henry had been fed and was currently playing on his video games. He thought Regina had come down with the flu and had been in a deep sleep when he’d tried to wake her. At an age where he just about believed those tales, he hadn’t questioned it. Regina felt a tear slip down her cheek at that, because she had never been a bad mother. No matter what her own mother had said. Until that moment, at least._

_“I’m going to stay here tonight. I’ll take Henry for milkshakes, grab some of my things and when I get back we’re going to talk.” At the very least she wanted to know what had gotten Regina into this state. She could guess the most of it, but things had never been this bad._

_It took a little over an hour for her to come barging back into Regina’s room. She had been lying in the same position. It took everything within her to move and allow Katherine to get her changed into something more comfortable. “Henry’s reading comics in his room, by tomorrow you’re going to tell him that you’re feeling much better.”_

_Regina nodded, propped up against the head board, her friend’s arm around her shoulders. She could do that…tomorrow, but right now she had felt her insides shatter with the spilling of ink on a page. “I filed for divorce,” she said, voice in such a monotone it didn’t sound like hers at all._

_“Regina. I love you. But you’re out of order. You love Emma and I know you’re going through a hard time right now, but that’s not the answer. What were you thinking?” Katherine pulled her closer despite the words. She had meant them too, it didn’t stop her from wanting to take some of Regina’s pain away._

_“I won’t go there. She won’t come here. Neither of us will change our minds. We can’t do long distance forever. I made the hard choice. One of us had to.” It became clear cut in Regina’s mind. They were being stubborn and relentless in ways they never had, but there was only room for one of them to budge. Neither would and Regina had cried herself to sleep that night, but this was the only third option she could find._

_Katherine brushed soft lips against her hair, “you’re a stubborn bitch and one day you’ll regret this and when that day comes I’ll tell you I told you so. But-” she sighed, because there was more to it, “I know how much being away from her has hurt you. I’ve seen the look in your eyes when she hangs up the phone after a few minutes. The way you’ve been caving in on yourself for every weekend she doesn’t visit. I also know her and know she isn’t doing this to hurt you. That woman loves every part of you, but…I understand.”_

_Regina tucked her knees to her chest and lay against Katherine’s. They weren’t usually this touchy-feely, but in that moment Regina would’ve taken comfort from anyone. “She left,” was all Regina could say before that numbness altered to unfathomed pain. One which had her shaking and crying in her best friend’s arms until she had cried so hard she felll into a deep slumber._

“I never left you!” Emma pushed from the couch and stood over Regina. “I didn’t leave you. You were supposed to come to me. What the hell? You just gave up on us. You wouldn’t talk to me. I would’ve done anything-”

“Anything but come back here.” Regina stood up slower, but stayed in place as Emma began to pace. Everything was so screwed up and it hurt. Heels clipped as Regina made her way to where Emma had stood still, wrapping her arms around Emma’s waist from behind, “Katherine was right. I’d do anything to turn the clocks back and follow you to the ends of the earth.”

“They’re just words, Regina.” Emma stiffened in her arms, but otherwise, didn’t move. “I’m so pissed at you, but…I hate myself for saying it, but I think I get it, too.”

Regina sighed and kissed her shoulder, the feeling of Emma’s warm body calming her down in ways she had long forgotten. Arms tightened around her middle and Emma hummed, leaning back slightly. “I didn’t handle it well, but I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.”

“You’re right, though, I wouldn’t have come back. I wouldn’t have changed my mind about you and Henry moving to Boston. We were at an impasse and we…something stopped working.”

“I should’ve come to you, Emma. I gave up first. I didn’t even try. It’s just…I knew I would’ve been miserable. My mind was already made up about the place, you know once it’s made up it wouldn’t have changed.”

“You would’ve spent the entire time resenting me. We might have even ended up in the same position.” Emma did have a point, but Regina doubted it would’ve got to that had she at least attempted to make things work.

“We would’ve moved back-”

“And I would’ve resented you.” Regina buried her face in Emma’s neck and breathed in her scent. Green eyes closed and she lifted her hands to lightly grip the wrists resting on her stomach. “I thought our relationship was strong enough to survive the distance.”

“So did I.” Regina didn’t know how it hadn’t survived, because their relationship was strong, “the parts which made our relationship work fell apart because of the distance. I wasn’t honest with you and started to doubt you at a time when I needed to trust you the most.”

“I was usually better at being there. I know how much reassurance you need from me. Our give and take failed tremendously. Little by little it crumbled and none of us tried to stop it.”

“Do you think we could ever work this out? I would understand if you hated me forever, but…perhaps there’s still something between us.”

Emma chuckled, “everyone else seems to think so, even Mary-Margret is rooting for us.”

“That goody-two-shoes needs to learn to stay out of other people’s business-” Regina rolled her eyes; her dislike for the woman had lessened over the years and seeing how close she and Emma had become, with the other woman treating Emma as if she were family. Regina had appreciated that more than she would ever let on. Emma might have grown up without a family, but that woman became a sort of older sister and her husband loved Emma like family, too.

Emma spun and hung her arms loosely around Regina’s neck. With a slight gleam in her eyes, she chuckled, “you’ve really got to let that go. You were sixteen and your relationship consisted of sneaking around. It was hardly going to last. Especially since a gorgeous sheriff turned up in your future-” Emma winked and Regina couldn’t help but smirk.

“Daniel was my first love. No matter how illogical it all seems now, at the time I was convinced we would get married, have babies and live with a white picket fence.” Daringly, she very gently pecked Emma’s lips then pulled back, “lucky for me, a gorgeous sheriff did show up. Have you seen her around?”

“I hear she’s a detective now. A hell of a lot better than any of your previous choice of partners. I must say. With the exception of your brief fling with Marian. I have to say, that’s genius even for me.” Emma thought it was the best story she had ever heard. She should’ve been jealous listening to stories of Regina’s ex-partners, but that one had Emma smiling from ear to ear.

“It would teach him right. Seeing two women on the go. I do regret not punching Robin’s lights out, but we did have a fun night in bed-” Regina wiggled her eye brows at the memory. The two of them had discovered the truth and instead of turning on each other, had turned on the idiot who had tried to string them along. It really was one heck of a night and letting him know what had happened was even better, “but that night would never match up to any with that gorgeous sheriff.”

Emma was the one to lean in and kiss her this time. Their kiss was sweat and soft and slow. Regina sighed into it and wrapped both arms around Emma’s lower back. They kissed for some time, simply getting acquainted with each other without coming from a place of anger or hate or longing. It was nice, but eventually they did have to stop.

Regina’s eyes twinkled and she smiled softly, “I think we should stop here. I don’t want to rush into anything again.”

“Yeah. You’re right. But would you erm…maybe stay for a little bit? Cuddle with me. We could just put a movie on or something. I’m fine with more kissing, but nothing more than that.”

“I would like that. Is this us on the same page?” she asked, untangling herself and sitting on the couch as Emma picked out a movie. She didn’t care which one it was, so long as she got to hold her ex-wife and make her feel even slightly better.

“Depends what page that is. I want you back. I want to take things slowly and I want to make sure we talk about every little feeling we have. Stuff about the past is bound to come up again and we need to be honest.” Emma made her way back over to the couch, sitting down and snuggled into Regina’s side. Tugging a blanket down, she flung it over them both with a sigh.

“I agree and we will. I want you back, Emma-” fingers combed through blonde hair and massaged her scalp, “and things will come up, but we’ll deal with them. Let’s not mess up that bad again.”

Emma hummed and sighed in relief. Then she curled herself completely into Regina, placing her head on her chest, the rhythmic beating of her heart soothing. “I love you,” she whispered and closed her eyes, not caring about the movie in favour of savouring the warmth.

“I love you, too.” Regina tugged her closer, stomach fluttering at the way Emma had moulded to her body. It was everything she had missed. She wasn’t going to lose it again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally have an update! NanoWriMo is upon us, which means lots of writing motivation, so I'll try to get regular updates going ;) Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think!

After letting out a long breath, Emma leaned back in the chair and placed her feet on the desk. Her hands went behind her head, closing her eyes as she did. As much as she was grateful for having Regina and Henry back into her life, she couldn’t help but miss her old job. Not so much the one in Boston. She had made friends there and had kept in touch with a few, but the one in New York. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been there all that long to have made friends. Along with her family being miles away, it had been awfully lonely. Either way, if these past few years taught her anything, it was her family was more important to her than job satisfaction.

She supposed the job in Storybrooke wasn’t all that bad, but the paperwork and lack of action was something she didn’t much care for. As much as she loved that the town was relatively safe, especially for her son, she did wish she could have a good chase and a ‘bad guy’ to catch from time to time.

“I see the Sheriff’s department is working hard.” Katherine leant on the door frame and smirked when Emma opened her eyes. “Here-” she chucked a brown paper bag onto Emma’s desk, “this is from me. If you screw this up the next thing in there won’t be as pleasant.”

Emma brought her booted feet down one at a time then swivelled her chair up close to her desk. Scrambling to open to the bag, she took a long smell of the melted cheese, a goofy grin growing on her face. “You talked to Regina, I take it?”

“Yup.” Katherine pushed from the wall and walked besides the desk in the small room. Emma stood up and immediately yanked the woman in for a hug. She propped her chin on Katherine’s shoulder and squeezed both her arms and eyes tight. Arms circled her shoulders and heled her close and Emma forgot to breathe for the moment. She had missed their friendship over the years. “I know not everything was on you, but you did good, Swan.”

“We talked,” was all Emma could manage to push out in that moment. Before she had come to Storybrooke she had spent her lifetime alone. Why she ever wanted to leave these people she didn’t know. Though, she did plan to come back and visit before everything became a mess.

“I know.” Katherine rubbed her back a few times before they pulled away. “She didn’t go into much detail, but after your date the other night she rang me and acted like a love struck teenager.” She smiled at the memory and Emma’s heart melted.

“She did?” Emma may have been on cloud nine by the time she had reached her apartment. The date had been simple enough. A drive-in movie where they spent the majority of the time making out then dinner at a pizza place which wasn’t a high end, fancy type, so the two of them could relax and enjoy their evening.

“She giggled through telling me you might have made out for an hour straight.” Emma simply grinned at the memory. How either of them had kept their hands to themselves during, she didn’t know. “You really are like teenagers.”

“What can I say? I know exactly how that gorgeous woman likes to be kissed.” Katherine rolled her eyes and Emma took a seat, so she could dive into her grilled cheese. She took a large bite, cheese dripping down her chin, “and she doesn’t half know how to kiss me,” she muttered through the food.

“Spare me the details.” There was a smirk and a roll of the eyes, but she couldn’t hide how happy she was for the two of them. “But…a bit of advice-”

“Oh gods, you’re not going to lecture me. Are you?” Emma chomped on her food whilst Katherine perched on the desk.

“No, there will be no lecture. Be aware that Regina might be a little more closed off than you’re used to. You guys were the world’s most honest couple. It was infuriating, but…I just want you to keep that in mind. Be patient, but you might have to do a bit of pushing and trust building. For both your sakes.” She was speaking from experience. Before the Sheriff dove back into town, it had gotten to the point where even the mention of Emma was forbidden, except for it involving Henry.

“I will do. I expected as much. We weren’t always honest, especially not in the start. We both had our trust issues, but I’m confident we’ll work it out. I’m not losing her again.” If she knew anything. It was that. Emma loved Regina Mills far too much to ever risk being out of her life again.

“I believe you will.” Katherine leaned over and gave her bicep a quick squeeze, “anyway, I’m heading out. I’ll see you later.” She popped up and headed towards the door.

“Bye Katherine.”

“And stop slacking,” she threw over her shoulder before existing her small office without another word.

Typical, Emma rolled her eyes with a goofy grin as she polished off one of her favourite treats.

***

The awful feeling Emma had felt the first night she’d arrived and walked into the mansion was slowly seeping out of her blood. It felt…familiar as she walked inside into the foyer. It helped that Regina’s hand was in her own as she led her to the bottom of the stairs. Regina turned and smiled, “he’ll be a few minutes. He refuses to learn to put his trainers in the same place, so he could avoid this every single time we have to leave the house.”

Emma’s face visibly dropped. Regina gave her a soft smile, her own wounds flaring. She opened her mouth and Emma hoped she would reassure her she could catch up on everything that she had missed. Instead she closed it with a tight smile, then leaned in to give Emma a kick peck on the lips. Emma accepted it easily and gave her another kiss, hand squeezing tightly. “Yeah, I’m sure he’ll find them.”

Emma shuffled as the silence washed over them. Regina twisted her head to look up the stairs when their small child had yet to appear. Emma took a breath and remembered what Katherine had said. Build trust. Perhaps push a little, not that she could expect Regina to open up straight away.

“I’m sor-” Regina’s eyes found hers the moment Emma’s mouth slammed shut. She smiled sheepishly, “I was wondering if you wanted to go on another date, but a family one. Maybe we could all go out somewhere?”

“Henry would like that,” she said softly and cupped Emma’s cheek, “that’s very thoughtful.” She leaned in to give her a slow kiss, dark hair ticking Emma’s cheeks. Emma enjoyed it for the moment, but the tight smile was back when they pulled back.

 _I’m his mother,_ she wanted to say. It wasn’t as if they were dating and she was slowly allowing Regina’s son into her life. The reminder of these past two years slammed into her like a ton of bricks. She had called him, and they had skyped and she had him for weekends, but Regina had effectively turned into an single parent the times she wasn’t there. How everything had gotten so messy she didn’t know. She gulped and pushed down the hurt, storing it away for another conversation…or perhaps fight they would have to have soon.

“Could I see Henry more? Or like all of us together?” Emma hated to ask, but she needed to build these bridges no matter if there was fault to lay at anyone’s feet.

“You know you don’t have to ask.” Regina frowned and gave her another gentle peck. Emma was more than grateful for the kisses, but…

“I feel like I have to ask,” she muttered quietly, wanting to voice some of this before it got locked down in both of them, “I know-”

“Emma. You don’t need to ask. If you want to take Henry somewhere, the only thing you need to check is if I’m okay with that. Like we used to.” They would always double check with each other, but that was mainly about schedules. “I do remember that fight we got into after you bought him that violent video game.”

“Hmm, I remember the amazing sex we had that night once we both realised we were having the most stupid fight ever.” Emma wiggled her eyebrows and her eyes slipped as she checked out the entirety of Regina. Who could blame her? She was wearing a tight fighting deep purple dress, stopping just above the knee, black heels and with make-up that highlighted her features, understated yet breath-taking. To top it all off, her hair was curled. There was no other word than perfection.

Regina chuckled, “enjoying checking me out?”

“Seriously? Do you have any idea how hard it’s been not to do that already?” Her eyes settled on the rather generous amount of exposed cleavage and then her eyes softened at the necklace that hung there. It had been a birthday gift a little after they had been together just over a year. An amethyst stone lay in a heart. “You still wear it?” Emma whispered before gently clasping the heart between the pad of her finger and thumb.

“Yes. My dear. I could tell how much you were falling for me. The way you looked at me, adored me. I’d never felt that in my entire life. I hadn’t believed I was ever worthy of such,” not after the lies her mother had told, “but you came along and loved me so wholeheartedly. By the time you gave me this I no longer questioned your love.”

With the pendent still in her grasp, Emma swallowed and looked up into misty eyes. “Regina,” her voice shook a little, because there was being closed off then there was…that, “I’ve always loved you. No matter what happens or what has happened, me loving you is a constant.”

Regina let go off Emma’s hand the same time she let go of the pendant. Emma circled both arms around Regina’s neck and almost fell onto her lips. Regina hands found her lower back and she pulled Emma flush against her as they explored each other’s mouths. They embraced and kissed, a lump forming in Emma’s throat, until they heard the pitter patter of feet on the stairs.

“Moms!” Henry threw an arm over his eyes to stop the awful sight being burnt into his mind. He was happy they had stopped being stupid and were almost together again. Like it always had been, but he most definitely didn’t need to see _that._

Emma chuckled and reluctantly pulled their lips apart, finding Regina’s eyes first. “I love you,” she whispered, to make sure she believed her.

“I love you, too.” Regina gently kissed her temple this time, not oblivious to the impending discussion about Henry. She wasn’t ready to deal with that, not yet at least.

“You can look now,” Emma said and stepped out of the embrace. Waiting at the bottom of the stairs she grinned at her son, “no more kissing moms.”

“You two kissing is gross.” He wrinkled his nose and ran down the stairs and straight into a hug of his own. He had missed his mom and took every advantage to see her that he could. “But I’ll take you kissing over you leaving again.”

Emma bent over slightly and pulled him to her, whilst looking directly into Regina’s eyes. They both nodded at each other whilst a pair of saddened green eyes glazed over. “I’m never leaving again, Henry. I promise.” No matter if there was fault or blame or any of that, to Henry she really had left, in a manner of speaking.

Regina walked over a squeezed her shoulder whilst rubbing Henry’s back. She wouldn’t leave Emma to deal with this alone. Not when that fault or blame or any of that could be just as much on her. When it came to Henry, she would shove all of that away for both theirs and his sake. “Your mom didn’t leave you, Henry. I know it was hard for you, but no matter what happens, she’ll always be your mom and here for you.”

“She left,” he muttered, tears stinging his eyes, “and you stopped us moving.”

They looked to each other, neither unaffected. Regina leaned towards Emma, kissed her cheek then placed her lips to her ears, “we do this together,” she whispered.

When it came to Henry and being co-parents, they were a team. Even when she was apart and hurting, it never once occurred to her to use Henry as a type of weapon. She couldn’t understand how any parent would do that willingly to their own child to get back at an ex.

Emma nodded and leaned her head into her, closing her eyes for the moment they embraced. Henry pulled back and used the back of his palms to wipe at his cheeks. Emma crouched down and very gently gripped onto his upper arms, rubbing them softly. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” she began, Regina standing beside her, giving Henry’s shoulder a squeeze, “if you’re angry at either of us then that’s okay. You’re allowed to be angry and sad and hurt over us being apart and things not being like they were.”

“I missed you-” his little chin wobbled and if that didn’t break both their hearts, “I missed being a family.”

“We’ll always be a family.” He looked up at Regina who smiled softly at him. “No matter what happens between me and your mother, that won’t ever change.”

“Promise?” His eyes diverted between both his parents. It had hurt to keep it in all this time and there were still some things his young brain couldn’t begin to comprehend, but it was a start.

“We promise, Henry,” Emma said, to which Regina agreed and repeated the same. “Would you rather keep talking or do you still want to go out for the day?”

He bit his lip and took a moment to consider, “are we still going to the arcade?” he asked very slowly, to which Emma grinned and nodded her head. “Then I still want to go!”

“Okay, kid,” she let out a little chuckle and pressed a kiss to his head, “but we’ll need to talk about this another time, okay? I know it’s hard, but the best thing we can do is talk about our feelings, so we can make them better.”

“Okay,” he said, somehow bouncing back with the single mention of their planned afternoon.

Emma stood back up and fell into Regina’s side, an arm slipping around her waist. They didn’t need words. Henry suffering because of them was out of the question. They would talk and do what they could to make this better for him and them alike. “Don’t tell your mom,” Emma whispered, a hand going to the side of her mouth as if she really could keep Regina from hearing, “but we’ll get pizza and fries for lunch.”

Regina rolled her eyes. Of course, she would fill their son with junk food. “If he comes back hyper you can deal with him until he’s asleep in bed.”

Emma bit her lip and twisted her head, “did you just invite me over for dinner and the rest of the evening?” Perhaps she was being a bit presumptuous, but she wanted to be with her family.

“Can she mom?!” Henry’s eyes went wide, “could we watch a movie tonight like we used to?”

Regina’s fingers subtly propped under Emma’s shirt, so she could brush against skin, “yes, if you would like?”

“Yeah! I’m up for that.” Emma was more than up for that, especially with the way Regina’s fingers were trailing just above the waist band of her jeans. It felt more than good, and she hoped they would end up snuggled on the couch, just like they used to.

***

Emma plonked back down on the couch after saying her goodnights to Henry. Her smile was wide, and she twisted so her back lay against Regina’s front. Arms wrapped around her waist and a chin propped itself on her shoulder. Regina’s legs bent up slightly, no matter how constricted by her dress and pressed the sides against Emma’s legs. She held onto her whilst kissing her shoulder and exposed neck, which led to her gently sucking on her pulse point.

“I’ve missed you,” she whispered, snaking a hand up Emma’s tank top and splaying it on her front. Emma let out a soft groan and couldn’t decide if she wanted that hand to go up or down.

She tilted her head to allow those lips to latch onto her skin again, “I’ve missed you too.”

Neither of them had planned for anything more to happen, but being so close managed to spur things on between them. Emma took Regina’s hand and moved it slowly up her torso then slid it beneath her bra until she cupped a breast in her hand. “I’ve missed these,” Regina purred and squeezed possessively.

Emma arched into the touch, prompting Regina to give a throaty chuckle. She placed her hand over her top where Regina’s rested and applied gentle pressure. The last thing she wanted was for Regina to move her hand. “Feels good, but I’d much rather be kissing you.”

Regina pulled her hand away and Emma groaned, the opposite of what she wanted. Regina tapped her shoulder to get her so sit up. They turned to face each other. Regina grabbed the bottom of Emma’s shirt then looked into her eyes, “is this what you want?”

“You? More than anything.” Regina pulled the shirt off without another question, then straddled Emma’s lap, pinning her back to the couch, her dress bunching at the top of her thighs. “Fuck, I forgot how incredibly hot you are.”

Regina trailed her finger tips up and down Emma’s stomach up to her ribs then back down. She added her nails in light scratches she knew Emma loved. Emma simply grabbed onto her hips and let whatever thought was running around Regina’s mind play out.

Emma tucked a piece of hair behind Regina’s ear, causing her to finally look up at her, “if you’re not ready, we can wait.”

“Why was it so easy that day in my office?” Regina kissed her softly and moved both hands to rest them on the small of Emma’s back. Her skin was warm and felt amazing to touch.

“Because it wasn’t about love. You needed to feel something other than hurt and I was willing to give that to you.” It had sort of hurt, not that Emma really wanted to admit that. She could imagine it had hurt Regina all the same.

“I have no idea what I was feeling. I think…” she paused and let the emotions rise to the surface, they had to talk, no matter if Emma no longer had a top on and Regina continued to straddle Emma’s lap, “I wanted you,” she admitted eventually, “you’re right about the hurt. I wanted it to stop. It was easy to just fuck. It meant having you and stopping the hurt without it really meaning anything.”

“I got that. You told me not to make love to you,” she muttered. It had never been her intention, but familiarity had her wanting to kiss Regina and show her she loved her. “It really hurt.”

Moving both hands to slowly rub up and down Emma’s back, she connected their eyes, “I’m so sorry. I wanted to keep you out. Emotionally, at least. When you started being slow and kissing me, it…I freaked out. I-” she swallowed and pressed their heads together, “I missed you, still loved you. Letting you in when I wasn’t ready would’ve crushed me and you.”

“I understand that.” Emma breathed her in, keeping both eyes closed and allowing herself to feel with touch. Regina’s thumbs brushed her cheeks and she moved her own hands up and down Regina’s sides. “The way you said it, though. As if…I don’t know…” she needed a minute to breathe herself, “it felt like you didn’t want me. That you were using me for pleasure. To forget.”

Their noses brushed together as Regina tipped her head to place the softest of kisses over trembling lips. “It was the opposite, my darling. I feared how much I did want you. I am so sorry I ever made you feel that way.” Especially after Emma’s past. Regina still remembers years into their relationship when a memory would creep up on Emma and she would snuggle into Regina’s arms and cry as those old emotions surfaced. “I want you, Emma. You are not a burden. You never will be. I love you.”

Emma’s lips trembled as she kissed them once more. Regina kicked herself all over again; she should’ve known what she had been doing. In the blinded rage and hurt she’d been feeling, the complete mess their divorce had left her mind, any knowledge regarding Emma had been shoved deep down where she refused to access it.

Regina tipped her head back. They both opened their eyes slowly. Emma’s gleamed and Regina’s heart broke for the pain she’d caused. Never again would she let herself fall into that place. “You are enough.”

Emma tried to nod, but her head was stiff. Regina altered them, placed one hand on the back of Emma’s head and pulled it down to her chest then shuffled until they were laying on their sides on the couch. The muffled sob hit seconds later. Her other arm went around Emma whilst Emma’s arm tightened around her waist as if she was clinging onto a lifeline.

Emma let herself be held, finding herself missing the security she had once found in her ex-wife. She curled up and let the tears come, until the pain lessoned, and it didn’t hurt to breathe. They stayed that way for a while, Regina fingers running through Emma’s hair and shushing her until the sobs turned to whimpers. She calmed and yet, they continued to embrace, until Emma was ready to pull herself free.

Popping her head up, she gave Regina a watery smile, “hey,” she said, voice a little raspy, “I can’t believe I’m practically topless.”

“That’s because you wanted my hands on your boobs.” Regina looked to her fondly, glad to be able to see Emma smiling.

“You like touching my boobs.” Emma winked then pushed up on one elbow until she was sitting back up. Regina followed, grabbed her shirt and handed it over. Emma swiftly threw it over her head.

“I’m never going to deny that.” Emma smirked and gave Regina a quick peck. “Are you okay, Emma?”

“Almost. I feel better. I’ve not had someone to hold me like that in forever.” Regina smiled sadly at her, remembering Emma’s comment back in her office that day.

“You’ve got me. Always.”

Emma pulled her legs beneath her and snuggled into Regina’s side. An arm went around her body and tugged her closer. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“I’m guessing sex is off the table for now?” Emma peeped up, half hoping they could dive into bed. Her libido was off the charts when it came to Regina’s sexiness.

“I think so.” She kissed the side of her head and considered her own feelings. The moment drew out where they both snuggled into each other without a word for the next fifteen minutes. It was a comfortable silence, but Regina finally took a breath, “I’m having a hard time letting you in. Not all the time. Some things are easier than others. Other times I feel like I’m shutting down.”

“Do you think we can work through that? I know you might not trust me right now, but if you want this to work you’re going to have to let me in eventually. I think I’m managing, for the most part.” Emma didn’t cry in anyone’s arms.

“You clammed up when it came to Henry. We both did, but I noticed and wasn’t ready to mention it.”

Regina was right. It would take them both to make it work. She hummed in agreement, “at least we’re being honest now.”

“I do want this to work, Emma. We’re both holding back, but we can get there.” Emma nodded and moulded closer. The warmth of Emma’s body had Regina reluctant to remove her arms. “Minus any sex. Do you want to stay tonight?”

Emma glanced up with hope in her eyes. Along with a fresh wave of butterflies at the thought of spending the night spooning Regina. “I would love that,” she said, even more hopeful they were finally on the right track.


	6. Chapter 6

“I think I’m getting used to small town life again,” Emma said, looking up from where her head currently rested in Regina’s lap. Her eyes went far away for a moment, until brown orbs connected with her own. She sighed, knowing she had everything she needed right here.

Regina played with Emma’s hair, back pressed up against a tree. She had to admit, the picnic had been a lovely idea. When Emma had suggested it, Regina hadn’t been overly impressed with the idea of eating their food whilst sitting on a blanket, but the warm air and closeness offered them some calm and a time they could simply be.

“Do you miss it?” Regina asked tentatively, uncertain what she wanted the answer to be.

Emma looked down to her raised knees and shrugged. “I made some friends in Boston, but we’ve been keeping in touch. I miss hanging out with them. It was one of the only times they could cheer me up when we were apart.”

Regina nodded. Her own guilt intensified, but an honest conversation was better than a continuous stream of apologies she couldn’t fully understand. “Tell me about them.”

“I’m not sure I should be telling you the things we got up to.” Emma chuckled and winked at Regina. There had been a few questionable things, especially considering they were on the police force. It was never anything illegal, but questionable for sure. “We had fun though. Karaoke nights and beer pong. There was an arcade nearby and we were in there more than the kids.”

Regina smiled softly, blonde locks winding around her fingers. “I’m glad you had them. Maybe I could meet them one day. You’re always welcome to invite them down for a weekend.”

“Thank you.” Emma reached up and cupped Regina’s cheek. In the past three weeks, she’d spent twelve nights at the mansion and spent the other nights wishing she was at the mansion. There might not have been a permanent move, but it appeared they were heading back to familiar territory. “I do miss them, I would like you and Henry to meet them.”

“We can arrange something in the coming months, if you would like?”

Her head titled into Emma’s touch, allowing her eyes to close briefly. After a moment, she pulled her hand away then pushed up off Regina’s lap. “I’d like that, I really would,” she said, grabbing a cake from the basket then settled back down.

“How about your job? You never did tell me much about it.” She couldn’t tell if she was torturing herself or not, but she had to know every little detail, no matter how painful.

There was a time they would have known all the details and the fact that she didn’t, made her ache in ways she couldn’t have fathomed in the past.

Emma finished off the treat then leant her head on Regina’s shoulder, stretching her legs out in front of her. Intertwining her fingers into with the ones of Regina’s lap, she sighed and wondered how honest to be.

“I liked the one in Boston, but I miss New York. The work was strenuous at times, but I felt like I was making a difference. Here…”

“Here you’re chasing after dogs and stopping vandals from spray painting walls,” she finished with a sad sigh.

“Yeah.”

Regina pulled her hand free then stood up. Wiping grass off her pants, she smiled tightly at Emma. “It’s been a wonderful afternoon, but maybe it’s time we wrap this up. Unfortunately, I have work to do.”

Emma frowned. “What just happened?”

She pushed from the ground. A few steps saw to it the distance between them closed. When she looked into Regina’s eyes, they diverted to the ground immediately. Emma swallowed and grabbed onto Regina’s hand.

“Talk to me,” she whispered, “please let me in.”

“I feel guilty.” Regina’s eyes were glazed when she looked back up. “I can tell you’re not satisfied here. Once upon a time, perhaps the job was enough, but then it wasn’t. It’s why when the promotion came up I urged you to go for it. I could tell you couldn’t stay in this town forever. I…I took something from you.”

“You and Henry are enough for me, Regina.” Emma did let go of her hand, needing some space of her own. She paced a few feet away and thought about the job she had left. She had loved it, but not as much as her family. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Okay,” she said slowly, weary creeping in, “but whatever you say won’t change anything.”

“I lied to you.” Regina winced. Perhaps not the best way to start off what she had wanted to admit. “When I told you about my transfer here. I said I didn’t have a choice. The truth was, when the job came up, I begged them to give me the position. I choose to come back to you and Henry.”

“You’re an idiot,” she said on a shaky voice, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Regina. We’ve talked about that word. We worked through some of our issues with Archie. How is he doing, anyway? Back on track, that’s your mother talking. I made my choice, Regina. I choose you.” Emma came closer and circled her arms around Regina’s neck so she could plant her forehead to Regina’s.

“Archie’s doing good. You should pop by and see him. I’m sure he would love to see you.” Regina placed her hands on Emma’s hips, closed her eyes and simply felt what it was like to be close again. It didn’t change anything in Regina’s mind, but she couldn’t devalue Emma’s choices, either. “Can I ask something, without you getting angry? I promise this isn’t coming from a place of anger, from myself, either.”

Emma pulled their heads apart and nodded, if not a little sceptical.

“What was different between when I asked you to come home and two years down the line? And why not a year later or six months. I’m not mad, I think I’m getting past that feeling where I want to pretend like I did nothing wrong, but what made you choose us this time?”

“Loaded question.” Emma took a breath. Regina softly kissed the side of her mouth. “I don’t think anything change. I wanted to come back, but I was scared you didn’t want me anymore. The job transfer was almost like a cover. I was also, very lonely in New York. I loved the job, but I didn’t have anyone.”

“I really hurt you, didn’t I, darling?” Regina almost pulled away from Emma, but grounded herself. It would be a selfish act, to push her away because she couldn’t deal with the sorrow she had caused the woman she had always loved so dearly.

“Is that really in question?” Emma stroked up and down Regina’s back. “I’d never hurt over anything so much in my entire life,” she admitted quietly, eyes cast downwards.

“I’m sorry.” Regina didn’t know how Emma ever forgave her enough to come back and choose her. Saying the word ‘deserve’ again would most likely earn her a pointed stare. She kept the thought to herself.

“I’d much rather keep moving forwards.” Emma kissed her as if to punctuate her words. Love was a funny thing, irrational and made her do foolish things like give up a job she loved for a woman who might have never wanted her back. “And I’d make the same choice again.”

Tucking a piece of hair behind Emma’s ear, she smiled softly at the woman who still managed to make everything feel right. “You’re something else, my love. You know that?”

“I love you.” Emma knew that was all there was too it. She could live through the motions, but fully living wasn’t possible when she didn’t have her family by her side.

“I love you, too,” she said, already planning on ways she could make it up to Emma, earn some type of forgiveness and build their trust back. Although Emma would say on the contrary, she couldn’t think of a single way to repay her. The thoughts filtered out of her mind when Emma leaned in and began to kiss her, pouring every feeling she had through her lips and right into Regina’s heart.

***

The paperwork bored her more than anything else. It would be worth it if it had followed something meaningful. It wasn’t as if there wasn’t any paperwork in New York, but the job surrounding it made something in Emma feel alive. The knock at the door brought her out of her stupor.

“Come in,” she called, placing her pen down with a sigh.

When her two favourite people entered her office, the enormity of her job took a back seat. It was worth it; to see their faces every day.

“Good afternoon, beautiful.” Regina squeezed Henry’s shoulder then walked over to Emma, giving her a soft kiss on the lips. “Is it okay for Henry to stay at the station for a while? He wanted to see you.”

“Of course.”

“Mom! Look what I made at school.” He beamed and placed a large A3 piece of paper onto her desk. It had been split into nine sections, with drawings and descriptions underneath. “It’s a storyboard.”

“That’s awesome, kid,” she said, the enthusiasm so present in her voice.

Regina leant on the desk, the other hand on her hip, scrutinizing the story, as if she hadn’t already heard all about it on the way over here. Emma moved her chair closer to them, beginning to lightly trace Regina’s knuckles. She sighed and let the simple touch comfort her in ways she had missed so dearly.

“Mrs Noland asked us to pick a fairy tale or well known children’s story. I choose the three bears, but changed them a little bit. This is the baby bear,” Henry said, pointing to the first picture, “and his two moms.”

Regina and Emma shared a glance; smiling softly as Emma continued to gently touch the love of her life.

“The baby bear is happy with his moms, until one day a mean old witch comes and takes one of his moms away.” He points with his finger to a few drawings ahead where a funny looking witch is taking away one of the bears.

“I like your drawings. I think the witch looks like your mom.” Emma winked at Regina when she raised her eyebrows. Henry giggled.

“Hmm-hmm, I think your mother wants to sleep on the couch tonight.” Regina bit back a smirk as Emma squinted her eyes. “Anyway, I think it looks like Mary-Margret.”

“Moms.” Henry sighed and went back to explaining his story. The two of them shared a look, biting back laughs of their own. “Another witch comes and cast a spell to make the mom forget her wife and stay at home-”

“Bears can get married?” Emma teased her son, throwing him a smirk.

He rolled his eyes. “It’s a fairy-tale, sort of, so bears can get married.”

Henry sighed, causing his mothers to look at each other and share a thought. A few more years and they’d have a teenager to deal with. “I’m just kidding. Keep going, kid.”

“So, the mom doesn’t go looking for the baby bears other mom. The baby bear is sad, because he wants both his moms together. But then, a fairy comes and helps the baby bears mom defeat the witch and break the spell. She remembers her wife and they go on a journey so they can look for his other mom.”

Regina moved the hand on her hip to Emma’s shoulder and squeezed tightly. With one hand still stroking Regina’s knuckles, she used the other to cross over her body and clasp onto the one on her shoulder.

“They take the fairy with them to defeat the other witch. They get into a big fight and the two bear moms aren’t happy. Then they remember how much they love each other. They all team up to defeat the witch, and the fairy helps get them home. The baby bear is happy he has his family back and they live happily ever after.”

“That’s a great story kid. Where do you get that imagination of yours?” Emma closed her eyes as arms circled her neck. Regina propped her chin on Emma’s shoulder and kissed her cheek.

“I love you,” she whispered, blowing warm air on Emma’s neck.

“I love you, too, Regina.”

“You guys are getting all mushy again.” His nose wrinkled up, but he would take it over Emma being gone again. “But that’s better than when you guys fight.”

“Much better,” Regina agreed, reaching over and cupping Henry’s chin, “I’m sorry we didn’t go to Boston. We should’ve gone after your mom.”

“Regina.” Emma swallowed the lump in her throat. “You don’t have to do this.”

Henry shrugged and glanced between the two of them. Biting his lip, he ran words through his mind. Regina stroked his chin then placed her hand on his shoulder. “Say what you’re thinking,” she prompted softly, “you won’t be in trouble for your thoughts.”

“Yeah, kid. I know we messed up a bit, but you can always tell us how you’re feeling. Even if you think we won’t like it very much.” Emma squeezed the bicep of his other arm. His eyes turned glassy as his gaze skittered between them.

“I hate you.” He looked to his feet, tears instantly filling his eyes. Emma and Regina shared a look, uncertain if he meant one or them both. “I wanted to go after mom. I hate you.”

Regina swallowed, certain she deserved this. Untangling herself from Emma, she kissed her head then moved over to her son. Gently caressing his arms, she crouched in front of him. He sniffed and looked into her eyes. So much sorrow was filled their and although she had tried to give him everything she could in Emma’s absence, the sting didn’t lesson.

“You have every right to feel that way, Henry. I made the wrong decision. None of this is your fault. We love you so much. None of this is your mother’s fault. It’s okay to blame-”

“Regina, c’mon, it wasn’t all you.”

With her hands still on Henry’s arms, she twisted her head and gave Emma a watery smile. “You came back, my love, I think that absolves anything I initially blamed you for. I am truly sorry,” she said before turning back to Henry, “and I’m sorry I kept us apart. It won’t ever happen again. You have my absolute word.”

“You promise?” He hiccupped, bringing his red rimmed eyes between his mothers. “I like being a family. I missed mom. I want us to be happy.”

“I promise.” Regina bent up and kissed his temple. She meant it with every beat of her heart. She had been a fool, allowing scars and doubts to creep into her mind which had untimely lost her two years of their lives together. “I would follow your mother to the ends of the earth.”

“I promise too, Henry,” Emma said, smiling sadly at the pair. “We’re never being split up again.”

Now standing Regina slipped an arm around Henry’s shoulders. Emma stood and joined them, where they easily fell into a group hug.

“I didn’t mean it,” he said quietly, after they’d pulled away. “I love you.”

Regina swallowed. “I love you, too. So, so much.” She cupped his cheek. “Do you still want to stay at the station?”

He nodded enthusiastically.

“Why don’t we go and find ice cream? The paper work is the most boring thing in the world. It’ll be much more fun than being stuck here.” Regina scanned Emma as she said those words, a stab yet again at her poor decision making. She realised she owed Emma a full explanation, if only she could figure out how to put it into words.

“I have some more work to do,” she said, a little saddened at the prospect of leaving them, “but why don’t you wait for me at home and we can have a game night and order for dinner?”

“If we can get Chinese then I’m in.” Emma kissed her cheek, pulling back with a broad smile. That word sent her into a frenzied state. They were moving quickly, but it was perfect. “Have fun at work. Don’t be jealous of our ice cream.”

Henry chuckled. “Bye mom,” he said and gave her another hug. She squeezed him tightly, eyes closing as she rubbed his back. If only for the sake of taking his hurt away.

He moved to the door, already eager for the treat. Regina turned and faced Emma, gently cupping her cheek. Emma placed her hands on Regina’s hips and sighed. She leaned in for a brief kiss goodbye.

“Enjoy your afternoon, my love.”

“Bye, baby,” she said, eye widening at the endearment.

Regina tipped her head to the side, with a fake scorn. “You know I hate that.”

“No, you don’t.” Emma knew for a fact she didn’t, no matter how much she would deny it. Pushing their foreheads together, she looked directly into Regina’s eyes. “You once told me it gives you butterflies.”

“Always.” Their gaze was intense. Regina had felt them, exactly as Emma had predicted. From anyone else, she would hate it, but from Emma, it made her want to wrap herself up in Emma’s arms. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” If it was possible to be more in love with her, Emma felt it. Although, she might have spent all those nights tangled up in Regina’s arms as they’d slept, she had yet to show her just how much. “Can I stay tonight?”

“It’s your home too, Emma.”

Emma kissed her again, more than aware of the little eyes that kept glancing their way and diverting quickly when they had yet to pull apart. She let the kiss draw on for a few seconds, savouring every moment. They really were finding their footing and Emma couldn’t have let go, even if she tried.

***

Regina’s weight on top of her own remained perfect. They’d been kissing for so long Emma had lost track of time. The proximity, along with the many nights she’d slept tangled with Regina’s body, was driving Emma mad. Believing Regina to be in a similar state, considering they hadn’t so much shared more than a few passionate kisses, a warm palm snaked up the back of her blouse. Emma used her fingernails to lightly scratch the flesh on her lower back.

It was the tense in her body which had Emma removed her hand and lightly push on the woman’s shoulder. “Regina?”

Propping her elbows on either side of Emma’s head, her eyes elicited empathy. It wasn’t as if her own body wasn’t on fire with the need to be touched. Her mind, however, along with the jargon of thoughts, prevented the touch to be welcomed. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“Do you want to talk? Maybe we can figure this out together.” Emma stroked her back with both palms, over the clothing. She hoped like hell they could figure this out.

They’d never had many issues when it had come to sex. Especially after months of their relationship had past and they had reached a place of familiarity, trust and comfort. Communication and having a open mind had been their way for years. Exploring each other in old and new ways as their relationship had continued and developed. It had helped to keep them connected, but this tension with Regina had one that had never arisen.

Untangling herself from the thighs wrapped around her own, Regina pulled away. Emma curled her legs up and sat upright, giving Regina room to sit on the other side of the couch. “Would you like a hot drink?” Regina asked, avoiding her eyes and growing more tense by the second.

“A hot chocolate, please.” Emma grabbed for Regina’s hand and squeezed. Those panicked eyes sought her own. Regina swallowed, but held the gaze. “I’ll grab us a blanket,” she said softly, “I’m here.”

Regina nodded in quick succession. She took a deep breath then stood. Emma smiled up at her from the couch. Cupping her cheek, the other hand pressed into the couch to balance Regina as she leant in for a kiss. It was brief, but soft and open. When she pulled back, she kissed the tip of Emma’s nose. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she said, hand rubbing up and down Regina’s arm, “you can trust me with anything.”

After Regina had left the room, Emma went in search of a blanket. It was a routine they had gotten into during the early stages of their marriage. When either of them had an issue or problem they deemed difficult to talk about, when they were ready and wanted to open up, they’d have a hot drink and snuggle under a blanket. Sometimes it would morph to a bottle of wine whilst they sat outside on the porch. It was a constant, however, one where they left judgement behind and found a way to be there for the other.

Regina returned with two mugs in hand, momentarily sighing at the sight. Emma had started the fire, placed some cushions along the floor and had a large blanket draped around her shoulders. “Come here,” she said with a soft smile and lifted an arm.

“I added cream and marshmallows to your drink.” Regina placed them down on the coffee table. Taking a seat on a cushion, she leant against the couch and snuggled into Emma’s side. The arm promptly went around her shoulders. “I’m sure some things haven’t changed.”

“You’re the best.” Emma chuckled and kissed her head. The mug was in her line of sight and the cream looked delicious. “Though you do know I’ll have to extract you from me, when I want to drink it?”

The teasing tone had Regina relaxing. She bent her knees and rested them on Emma’s outstretched legs, arms tucked into her chest. The blanket came to be wrapped firmly around her, as she was held. Regina closed her eyes.

“Please talk to me.” Emma waited a moment. When a minute past, she knew it would be up to her to push for answers. “Is this just about sex or something else?”

“I don’t know.” Regina couldn’t understand why she hadn’t already taken Emma to bed and made love to her for hours. She’d missed her and wanted to express how deeply her love still ran. “I want you, Emma. I really do.”

“I want you too, darling.” Emma kissed her temple and sighed. “If this is about you feeling like you don’t deserve me, then know it isn’t true. I made my choices. You’re not responsible for those.”

“Perhaps.” Her breath shuddered. She hadn’t thought about it much like that. The last thing she wanted was to think about it in those terms. As if Emma’s love wasn’t strong enough to break through those self-doubts. “I’ve been thinking about why I didn’t move.”

“Oh?” Emma held her tighter, before bringing her lips close to Regina’s ear. “I won’t be mad if you’re honest me with,” she whispered, giving her neck a brief peck. “You can talk to me. I want to know what was going on with you.”

Although difficult to sort out the mess in her head, she’d been thinking about it recently. More so after she had left the station that afternoon. It had been uncomfortable to think of her own emotional scars, but for Emma, worth it every time.

“I’m not sure how to put it into words,” she confessed, certain the aspects of her musings wouldn’t be easily communicated. “Please know it wasn’t you, Emma. It was never about you. I’m sorry things ended up the way they did.”

“Just say what you’re thinking. You’ve told me so much about yourself in the past, because you trusted me. Nothing has changed in that regard. You can still trust me.” Emma felt the distance between them, even if they were growing closer. Kissing, dates and sleeping in the same bed didn’t equal emotion trust, she mused, but they were getting there. It would take time and time she was more than willing to give.

Regina shuffled in Emma’s arms. Opening her eyes to look at Emma, she closed them straight away and buried her face in Emma’s chest. “I didn’t want her to be right about me.”

“Who?” Emma frowned and tried to recover a memory of who Regina could be referring to.

On a shaky breath, Regina said, “my mother.”

Emma stayed silent. The demons that woman had left in her wake were issues they’d had to work through for years. Knowing they still hadn’t beaten them all, had Emma wanting to fly off in a fit of rage. Cora had twisted Regina’s mind so far around, it had taken years just to untangle a few knots. Emma had known it would be something they would struggle with throughout the entirety of their lives. That level of abuse didn’t fly away when they’d walked into the sun set. Knowing it still had a part to play in their relationship, grounded Emma.

“Everything she said was lies. You’re an amazingly accomplished woman, Regina. Strong, independent, fiercely protective and so loving. My love for you is effortless,” she said, hoping to at least quieten the thoughts long enough for Regina to get her issues out.

Regina looked up and took a moment to breathe her in. Puckering her lips, Emma gladly titled her head forwards to give her a gentle kiss. “You are everything,” she muttered against Emma’s lips, overcome with the words.

They overrode the others in her mind. The ones where her mother had called her worthless and that she would amount to nothing. “All of the things she used to say to me started to creep in after you were gone. I couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t. I knew you loved me and wanted me, but suddenly, you felt so distant. My mind told me you had left, you were gone. I know it wasn’t like that, deep down and it was enough to keep me focused on getting to you.”

“You know you could’ve talked to me. If you would’ve told me you needed me, I would’ve made the trip every weekend. I would’ve made more time to talk.” Emma thought back to that time. The travelling and phone calls and skyping had withered as time had gone on. She had noticed, but could never understand who had been the perpetrator.

“Asking you to make those trips would’ve been selfish. I know how tiring it was for you. I was conflicted, I saw you having a good time away from me. Our conversations got shorter. I didn’t know how to reach out to you. I distanced myself emotionally, because I couldn’t take another time where it felt as if you were too busy for me. It was easier to convince myself I didn’t need you, than to admit to needing you and you not being there.”

“When have I ever not been there for you?” Emma felt a little agitated, but when there was no logic, there was nothing to fight against. Early on, she had realised constant reassurance worked best. No matter how tiresome repeating things might become, she had become accustomed to it for the sake of Regina.

Large brown eyes looked up. They were filled with warmth and understanding. Emma wanted to lose herself within them. “You’ve never given me reason to doubt you. This was never about you, okay?”

Emma nodded. “I’m gunna grab my drink,” she said, to give them both a moment to allow thoughts to settle.

Rearranging themselves, they pulled the blanket around their shoulders, sat with their sides pressed together and drinks cupped in warm palms. Emma took a sip and hummed at the sweet tasting drink.

“You know my mother never approved of me being interested in woman,” she began again, after a few minutes of comfortable silence, “she said I was being greedy and was only open to dating both men and women because, deep down, I knew she was right. No one would want me. That I was trying to increase the odds of finding someone who would settle for me.”

“You’re my bisexual queen.” Emma smirked, lightly bumping her shoulder. They’d gotten drunk very early on in their relationship when Emma had come up with the term. It had somehow stuck and would always help pull Regina out of negative thoughts regarding her mother and sexuality. “I hate how she said those things to you. You’re perfect. You’re attracted to who you’re attracted to. It’s as simple as that. I must say, you have impeccable taste.”

Regina let out a soft chuckle. “As do you, my sexy, beautiful darling.”

“Now that we’ve covered that we’re both extremely hot women and look fabulous together.” Emma gave her a smirk over the mug. Regina couldn’t help but feel her arousal spike. It didn’t dampen when Emma pulled the mug away and left cream on her lips. All she wanted to do was lick it off, but she temped down on the sudden desire in favour of letting Emma back in. “I want you, Regina. I’m not settling. There was never and will never be anyone who could match up to you.”

Regina took a sip of her tea then rested it in her lap, leaning her head against Emma’s shoulders. “You are the most incredible woman I’ve ever known. I’m the lucky one. You are so very wanted and so cherished and loved,” she said, knowing Emma had insecurities of her own. “She never would’ve approved of you, you know? No matter how happy you make me.”

“I doubt she would’ve approved of anyone who made you happy.” Emma finished her drink then wrapped an arm around Regina’s waist. The fire crackled beside them, keeping the ambience warm.

“She would’ve approved of my job,” she admitted quietly, diverting her eyes, “my life here. Everything that I’ve worked for. And…this house is the only thing I have that connects me to my father.”

“I know all of this, beautiful.” It had been hard to hear. How her mother had left her completely out of her will and the only reason she had gotten the house, was because her father had added a clause her mother was apparently unaware of. “He loved you.”

“He loved me. He always said as long as I found someone to make me happy, then he would be happy.” A small smile protruded as she thought of her late father. They’d both been in a car crash a few months after Regina had returned from college. Conflicting thoughts had followed, leaving her questioning whether losing her mother had been for the better. She’d spent months with Archie, undecided whether those thoughts had made her a monster.

Slowly, Regina finished her drink and placed the mug down. Twisting her body, she curled up in a ball, burying her face in Emma’s neck. Arms snaked around her body and held her shivering form tightly.

“I’m a horrible person,” she whimpered, “I c-chose m-my d-dead parents over y-you. I’m s-sorry, Em-ma. I’m s-so s-sorry.”

“I wished you would’ve told me what was going through your mind. I understand you. We could’ve worked through it, together.” Emma let her eyes close and head fall forwards to connect with Regina’s.

“I d-didn’t w-ant to lose m-my connection to h-him. M-my job w-would would’ve been the only t-thing m-y mother would’ve b-been proud of. I c-couldn’t…I couldn’t m-move…I didn’t mean to h-hurt you. I l-love you.” Regina’s eyes squeezed tightly whilst thoughts twisted, and tears leaked free. The pain eradicated her system and reminded her of all those years she had emotionally shut down to keep people out. It had felt like an ache in her gut. One which slowly overtook the longer Emma had been away.

Emma held her to her chest, soothing Regina with hushes, words and her arms. She squeezed herself as small as she could. Regina’s shoulders shook. The dampness was evident on Emma’s neck.

“I f-felt like I was shutting down,” Regina said quietly, taking one last shuddering breath to stop the tears. “I didn’t know how to let you back in.”

Regina uncurled herself and wiped at her cheeks. Adjusting to a sitting position, legs curled beneath her, she cupped both of Emma’s cheek. Her smile was watery and eyes red rimmed. Emma began to gently caress her lower back. “I’m proud of you. For being so honest with me. Thank you.”

“It was the least you deserved.” She stroked her thumbs over Emma’s cheeks. Their eyes connected and held. “I am sorry. I know how you’re past has affected you, too. I never intended to make you feel unwanted, because I do want you, Emma Swan-Mills.”

Emma’s eyes widened. “I…”

“Emma-”

“No, it’s okay. We had hyphened names for years. Habit.” She shrugged, as if the comment hadn’t felt as if her insides were being mushed in a blender. She supposed that would be less painful.

After a half second consideration, Regina straddled Emma’s lap. The slip had hurt her, too. With her hands now on Emma’s shoulders, she pecked her lips before resting her forehead against Emma’s. “Maybe one day,” Regina whispered.

She missed Emma’s name. She missed her being her wife, but she knew she might have lost that privilege forever and ultimately, she had only herself to blame. Perhaps they would marry again, but there would be no pushing on her end. If Emma ever wanted to commit, however, Regina would elope the following day.

Emma let the comment go, in favour of bringing her lips against Regina’s. They kissed with an underlying desire for a few moments, before Regina pulled back and looked into her eyes. “Take me to bed,” she said, leaving no question on whether or not, she was ready.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry this took so long, the muse wasn't feeling it!
> 
> NSFW - it turned smutty even though I didn't plan it! It's about half smut, half plot.

Regina tugged on the cover and brought it up to Emma’s shoulders. Emma’s chest rose and fell slowly with a wisp of blond locks tickling her skin. Emma shifted to throw a thigh over Regina’s legs and drew lazy circles over her bare stomach. Both exhausted from the seeking and giving of pleasure, they simply lay in each others arms and took a moment to remind themselves it was real.

Fingers stroked through Emma’s hair, her other hand placed gently on the back of Emma’s shoulders where she held her close. Regina tipped her chin to her chest to place a quick kiss to Emma’s forehead. “That was-”

“Incredible,” Emma finished, popped her eyes open then looked up at Regina with a dazzling smile. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.” Regina massaged her scalp and simply stared into Emma’s eyes. If only she could show Emma just how much she meant it with a single look, considering she was receiving the same in reverse.

“I don’t want to stop touching you,” Regina whispered, deliberately moving the hand on Emma’s shoulder to run her fingers down Emma’s spine. “But we’ve both got to go to work tomorrow and I don’t want to be responsible for your moodiness in the morning.”

Emma flashed her a grin. Hair fell over her eyes as she pressed lips to Regina’s collar bone. Some of her things had already been moved to the mansion and the sheer fact she didn’t have to worry about planning ahead made her toes curl in excitement.

“You would think I would choose sleep over more sex?” she asked, head popping back up and shoulders shaking.

Regina shook her head and chuckled. Emma rolled over onto the vibrating chest so they were pressed together. Emma’s head dipped to the crook of Regina’s neck, lips attaching and sucking on the soft skin. Hips bucked up into Emma, and Regina hummed in content.

A warm tongue lapped at the area, before Emma lifted her head. Messy hair fell around her face, sticking to her swollen lips and sweat gleamed skin.

“You’ve never looked more beautiful,” Regina said. Her eyes softened as she gently tucked a piece of hair behind Emma’s ear. Their gaze remained connected and they sighed, breathing the other in. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Emma said, tipping her head down to close her mouth over Regina’s.

The kiss held no pressure, light feathered lips hardly touched. It still sent a tingle to Regina’s toes and up Emma’s spine where finger tips were running the length. A moan followed as Emma sucked on Regina’s bottom lip. It was music to Emma’s ears. She used her lips and tongue to push Regina’s mouth open, slipping her tongue inside. A low moan followed. Emma’s hips pushed downwards.

A hand fisted in blonde locks, firmly holding that head in place, whilst the tongue explored her mouth. Regina’s legs parted on their own, legs bending up as her heels brushed along the sheets. Emma placed herself between them. It caused Regina to wrap her legs around Emma, needing her to be closer. To feel some relief from the dull ache between her legs. As much as she wanted Emma to touch her, she was tempted to start without her. Until Emma slowly started to rotate her hips.

“You’re going to be…the death of me.”

Emma chuckled against her lips. “That’s my line,” she muttered then propped herself up on both elbows. Both wrists curled inwards, so fingers could thread through dark hair. “Gods, you’re beautiful.”

A sigh escaped Regina’s lips and her eyes fluttering closed.

Emma brought her lips back down, applying slight pressure to an otherwise soft kiss.

With hands on Emma’s lower back, Regina’s legs flopped back to the bed and she tilted her head to gain more of Emma’s mouth, but she pulled away then eased back in. To pull away again when Regina aimed for more. The tease lasted a few minutes before a groan came from Regina’s chest. She loved this woman, but she was driving her insane.

“Em-”

Lips mushed against her own, Emma’s lower back arching to push her body into Regina’s core. This kiss was needy with a quick rhythm, hitting teeth and hurriedly running tongues over already wet lips. The sloppy kiss caused wet sounds in the room, along with hums and moans, which had them bucking into each other.

Although Emma’s own body was begging for attention, but she snaked a hand between their bodies in search of Regina’s pleasure. Finger tips ran on the inside of Regina’s thigh, then along her soaked centre.

Regina’s legs spread involuntarily, heels digging into the bed. Her head pushed into the pillow, only causing Emma to tighten her grip on the dark hair. She kissed harder, in direct contrast to the teasing fingers. Emma shuffled her weight to one side, leaving most of it on Regina whilst giving herself more room to play between Regina’s legs.

How she had missed touching her and feeling her body writhe beneath her. Emma grinned into the kiss and added a little more pressure to the strokes. It gathered up cum with every up and down movement. Regina wriggled, helpless to do anything than to be ferociously kissed and touched, back arching nonetheless to gain more.

Emma moved her fingers quicker. The squelching sounds caused Emma to moan into Regina’s mouth. Her bicep tensed as her movements increased, directly over her clit. Regina whimpered, hips bucking wildly into the warm body and fingers. Emma wouldn’t let up on the kissing, mouth working quickly to catch any moan.

“You feel incredible,” Emma said, fingers so easily slipping through Regina’s warm folds. She allowed them to take a deep breath then kissed her swollen lips again, now concentrating on drawing circles on the tight bundle of nerves. 

Arms wrapped around Emma’s neck as the orgasm built, dark hair tickling her shoulder from the head which had burrowed into Emma’s neck. Regina whimpered and lightly bit down on Emma’s skin. Her body squirmed beneath her lover, but Emma didn’t stop until she spasmed and the strings of moans had died down. Regina went limp, eyes rolling into the back of her head.

When she let out a long breath and slumped back against the bed, Emma kissed what she could reach, still entrapped in Regina’s arms. “I’ve got you,” she whispered. “Bend your leg up.”

Without thinking, one of Regina’s legs bent upwards along the messy sheets. There was a wet patch beneath her, but in that moment she didn’t care. She would’ve laid there with Emma all night. Until she felt two fingers slowly entering her. Her eyes flew open. She let go of Emma’s neck and twisted at an awkward angle to push into those fingers.

“I wanted to touch…you,” she said, half moaning, half breathless.

Emma only flashed her a smirk, moving those digits in and out. She gave her a gentle kiss then laid her head on Regina’s chest, looking up at her.

“You’re so fucking wet, I couldn’t give up this opportunity to fuck you. Need a minute or ready to go again?” she asked, the fingers moving at an incredibly slow pace.

Biting down on her lip, she looked down at Emma. “Ready,” she said, already pushing her hips towards the bed to feel more. Without hesitating, Emma added a third finger. It slipped in so easily they both let out a moan.

“See?” Emma said, propping herself back up on one elbow. “You’re just so fuckable.”

At her words she thrust into Regina. Dark hair spread on the pillow as Regina flung her head back and made a perfect ‘o’ with her mouth. Her back arched when Emma tucked in her thumb, brushing it over her clit with each movement. She had hardly recovered from her last orgasm, keeping her on the brink of pleasure and pain.

Regina had almost forgotten how good Emma was at this. All the fantasies over the years never had never matched up to the real thing. The wet sounds had Regina’s hips bucking for more contact, whimpering without constraint.

Regina gripped a hold of Emma’s straining bicep, digging her nails into the flesh. The other hand went to Emma’s backside. “H-harder,” she said, squeezing Emma’s ass.

Emma complied, and it wasn’t long until Regina’s body tensed, her walls clenched and eyes slammed shut. Hips bucked wildly as she fucked herself into those fingers, a string of curses and in-cohesive words falling from her mouth. Emma’s arm ached by the time her body flopped onto the bed, chest heaving and highlighting Regina’s hardened nipples.

“Fucking hell, Emma.” Her wide eyes stared at the ceiling for a long moment, closing momentarily when Emma slowly pulled her fingers from inside her. The woman in question straddled her hips, sitting up and chuckled.

“Enjoy yourself?” Emma hummed as she put each finger into her mouth and sucked every last inch of them. Regina could only watch, panting and completely spent.

“Dear gods, I love you.” She placed both hands on Emma’s thighs and squeezed. Emma was everything and in that moment, she anchored herself with the simplicity of her hands on Emma’s bare legs.

“I love you, too,” she said, hands covering Regina’s. She interlaced their fingers and smiled softly at the beautiful woman, feeling her heart swell with emotion. They stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment.  

It wasn’t until Emma licked her lips to get more of her taste, however, that Regina’s eyes flickered to the exposed core which rested just above her stomach. She licked her own lips and moved her hands to Emma’s hips.

“Let me return the favour,” she said, smirking and tugged on Emma. “I need you to come in my mouth.”

“Oh, fuck, yes. Whatever you desire.”

Each knee padded along the bed beside Regina’s body, until they rested on either side of Regina’s head. Emma looked down lovingly into dark eyes, stroking fingers through her hair. Regina licked her lips again, unable to pull her gaze from Emma’s wet folds for long. She pulled her head up and ran the flat of her tongue between Emma’s legs.

With one hand still in Regina’s hair, Emma used the other to grip the headboard and shuffled so she was closer to the waiting mouth. Arms circled her thighs to bring her down, where a tongue began to lap at her folds. Emma sighed and closed her eyes, enjoying the building sensations.

“Don’t stop,” she said, tipping her head back and slowly moving her hips until she was riding Regina’s mouth. The slow building pleasure was exquisite. The way Regina would push inside, drag her tongue from her entrance to her clit, suck on anything and everything whilst changing directions and movements constantly, had a stream of hums and moans coming from Emma.

It wasn’t until Regina paid more attention to her clit, that Emma began to come undone. She fisted Regina’s hair to hold her in place and leant her forearm against the wall. Her head fell to the crook in her elbow and eyes squeezed shut. Emma whimpered and bucked her hips, feeling the juices flowing out of her and onto Regina’s chin. She slammed herself downwards when her orgasm hit, moaning Regina’s name on a loop. The tongue didn’t let up until the waves had passed, Emma’s breasts heaving as it did.

She shuffled backwards from Regina and looked down at the wetness gleaming on her lips. “Fuck, you look so sexy,” Emma said and continued to move until she was lay back on top of Regina. “Gods, that was so good.”

“I’m glad you approve, my darling.” Regina licked her lips repeatedly and pulled Emma to her chest. They rolled onto their sides and cuddled into each other, neither ready to let the other go. “How are you feeling?”

“Sticky.” Emma chuckled when a head shook against her own.

“Other than that.” Regina kissed her head and tangled their legs together. It wasn’t as if she didn’t needed a quick shower, but there would be time for that later.

“Amazing. Incredible. I want to keep making love to you, but we seriously need to change these sheets and get some sleep.” She pulled Regina closer despite her words. One occasion they would fall asleep on the wet sheets and tangled covers, but the sweat glistening over her body prevented Emma from wanting to.

“Agreed,” she said on a chuckle. “We can fuck tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. I might even make a quick visit to your office tomorrow. I’m sure there’s some paper work I need to discuss whilst my fingers are inside you.”

“Don’t do that to me or we’ll be fucking all night and there’s only so much coffee in this world.” Emma shifted her head and looked directly into Regina’s eyes. The smile was radiant and they both glowed.

“I did offer sleep instead of more sex.” She raised her eyebrows, but having Emma in her arms overshadowed everything. Even a grumpy Emma in the morning. “But we can get cleaned up in a minute. Let me hold you a little longer.”

Unable to do anything other than comply, Emma shifted and let her head be pulled into Regina’s chest. She closed her eyes, squeezing the arms around Regina tightly.

“Love you,” she muttered.

“I love you, too,” she said and placed the softest of kisses to Emma’s head.

Her eyes began to feel heavy and it felt so good to have Emma in her arms, that Regina tugged the cover up over their shoulders. Emma giggled and curled up a little. The sheets were still messed up, but suddenly it became less important. There was no way there were moving from each other’s arm.

***

Making good on her promise, Regina appeared the following day looking pristine in her mayoral outfit. A blazer, straining blouse and tight skirt which had Emma licking her lips. Heels clipped into her office where she shut the door and leaned back against it, giving Emma a dirty look. After having closed the blinds, Emma raised her brows where she leant against her desk.

“I’m wet and waiting for you,” Emma said and unbuttoned her jeans.

A hand slid down the front of them before Regina even had the chance to move. With one hand gripped onto the desk behind her, Emma’s other hand wiggled inside her jeans. Regina swallowed, eyes dilating and watched from where she was still pressed to the door.

“Don’t stop,” she said thickly, a throb between her legs so very evident. “I want to watch you.”

Emma’s surprise only lasted a second, before she gave Regina her best sexy look. She had known it would turn the woman on, but she had expected her to replace the hand with her own. Not that Emma minded, when she looked directly into those lust filled eyes.

“I’m happy to oblige, Madam Mayor.”

Emma momentarily yanked her hand free to push down on her jeans and underwear. They stopped mid-thigh, low enough for Regina to get a full view. The feeling of the cold air, Regina’s eyes on her and that they were in her office – even if no one else could see in - increased Emma’s arousal. She pulled herself onto the edge of her desk, tip-toes pushing into the floor and put a hand between her legs.

Regina’s chest heaved as she watched. If it wasn’t for fear of being distracted, she would’ve pushed a hand down her skirt. Her thighs squeezed together as Emma’s fingers ran through her own folds. “Go inside yourself,” Regina said, voice croaky and barley useable.

Emma complied with a moan, slowly inserting two fingers into her entrance.

“Do you enjoy watching me fuck myself?” she said, dropping her voice and forcefully thrusting into her wet core. “Because I enjoy you watching me. I enjoy you watching me a whole lot.”

“Fuck…Emma.” Her fingers scratched along the door where her fists tried to clench. “Yes, I enjoy watching you.”

On a quiet moan, Emma tipped her head back and increased the speed of her thrusting. She added her thumb into the mix to hit her clit, bucking her hips to meet her own hand.

“I’m...g-gunna come…for you.” Her grip tightened as she fucked harder, thighs straining against her jeans.

Regina gave up fighting and pressed two fingers over her skirt, rubbing furiously over the material. Her eyes begged to be closed, but she kept them fixed on Emma’s core. Emma came with a grunt, shoulders slumping forwards and trembled into her hand. Already dilated eyes widened as she caught sight of Regina’s scrunched face.

“Em…Em…Emma,” she said through pants, shuddering and biting her lips as the orgasm washed through her body.

“Oh fuck,” Emma whispered, chest heaving even more at the sight.  

Emma grabbed a tissue to wipe between her legs and her fingers, pulling her jeans up then walked over to Regina. She circled her waist and pulled her to her chest. “That was so hot. You’re so beautiful when you come, Regina. I can’t believe you touched yourself.”

“Not what I was expecting,” Regina said, sighing into Emma’s hold. “But that was…my days Emma. I forgot how much watching you touch yourself affects me.”

“We should do that more often.” Emma kissed Regina’s head at the same time there was a knock on the door. “Good job they didn’t turn up five minutes ago,” she whispered into Regina’s ear, before calling, “just give me a sec.”

Regina pulled away, smirking at Emma and righted her clothing. Apart from the redness to her cheeks, no one would’ve suspected what they had just been doing. After a few moments where they composed themselves, Emma opened the door to see her superior.

“James,” she said, frowning. “Come in, I was just talking with the mayor.”

Regina gave him a courteous nod, and took discreet deep breaths to even out her chest. “Good afternoon,” she said. “I can leave you to it?” Her eye brows raised, hands clasped in front of her middle.

Exactly where her fingers had just been rubbing herself. Emma’s breath shuddered, not only at the new memory, but the way Regina had transformed herself into the professional mayor whilst not two seconds ago she was being come undone by the sight of Emma fucking herself.

“No, no,” he said, closing the door behind him now Emma was stood next to Regina. “It’s good that you’re here. I would’ve needed to come to you next for you to sign the paperwork.”

“Paperwork?”

Emma frowned, leant against her desk and resisted the urge to wrap an arm around Regina’s waist. Whether it was common knowledge that they were once married or not, she didn’t want anyone to guess they would have sex within their offices on occasion.

She looked sideward to catch Regina’s eye, the thought making Emma clamp her lips together to stop a moan; there had been more than one occasion the put together mayor had turned Emma on in her past, and they’d gone at it in Regina’s office.

Regina raised a brow, squirming slightly because of the wetness residing in her underwear. “What paperwork are you referring to?” she asked with a sophisticated tone, turning her attention back to James.

“Look,” he began and clasped his hands together. “There’s no easy way to say this. But this,” he said, gesturing to her office as if that had been the cause. “It’s not working out. You asked for the transfer, we allowed it, but we need you back in New York. This small town is no place for a person with your skill. I’m sorry Emma, I know you wanted this.”

Emma felt as if she had been sucked into a vacuum. James’ mouth continued to move, but there was no other sound than her beating heart. Arms flopped to her sides as the words processed and fell straight to her gut. They’d only just managed to work things out. Emma swallowed and turned her head in time to see the panic flicker across Regina’s eyes.

“Leave the paperwork with my assistant,” Regina said tightly, forcing a smile at the man. She grabbed onto Emma’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I just need a moment to catch some air.”

The warm hand was the only thing which brought Emma out of her trance, but then it slipped from her fingers. Her eyes glued to Regina’s retreating form. Then she looked up at the man who had caused the disruption.

“Isn’t there any other…”

“This isn’t your call to make. We need you back in New York and it’s not as if we didn’t give this a chance for you,” he said, the moment Regina had completely left the office.

Emma crossed her arms then bowed her head, nodding whilst gnawing her bottom lip. If she didn’t it might tremble, and that was the last thing she wanted him to witness.

“How long do I have?”

“We need you back within two weeks. Your old apartment is still there, along with your job. All you need to do is pack up and move.”

All she needed to do was to keep her family together.

“I’m not sure that’s going to work for me,” she said quietly, unable to believe she had said as much. New York was her dream job. It meant everything, but not if she couldn’t see Henry and Regina’s faces every day.

“Don’t do this, Swan. You’re good at your job.”

“I’m also a wife,” she said, head snapping up. The look of determination faded when the realisation dawned. Her shoulders sagged and the chin trembled no matter how hard she had tried to prevent it.

“Then sort things out,” he said, giving her a pointed look. “I’ll give you forty eight hours to think it over. That way you won’t do anything you’re going to regret.” He raised his brows in Emma’s direction, then left her office before she had a chance to respond.

Emma’s head spun; she was going to regret whatever choice she made.

***

When Regina wasn’t outside the sheriff’s station and didn’t answer her phone, Emma walked to the park and over to the bench near the side of the pond. Regina was sat with one leg crossed over the other, staring out into the water.

“Hey,” she said softly, stopping by the bench.

Regina hummed, rocking on the bench and clasped her hands over the top of her knees. “Do you remember coming here when we first became girlfriends?” she asked, smiling wistfully. Emma simply nodded, knowing she wasn’t supposed to be participating yet.

_It had been the hottest day on record for that year, and somehow, Emma had persuaded her girlfriend to put on a bikini underneath the small amount of clothes and come down to the pond._

_“We can just sit on the edge,” Emma said, biting into an apple with a grin. “God knows what’s in that water…but it’s too hot to be in clothes.”_

_“Or you just wanted to see me in a bikini?” Regina raised her brow, interlaced their fingers and chuckled as they walked down the wooden docking._

_“Getting to see you all hot and sweaty wearing next to nothing? Err…have you seen yourself lately?” Emma squeezed their fingers, a fuzzy feeling in her gut due to the way Regina was giving her eyes. She chucked the apple core into a trash can then tugged on Regina’s arm to move them a little faster._

_The sun was burning down on them, no clouds in the sky and next to no breeze. Regina swung the bag off her shoulder as they reached the edge, then began to discard of her clothing. People were about, children running along the grass, but one look to Emma’s dilating eyes and she threw her thin t-shirt off then wiggled out of her shorts. Emma gulped as Regina handed her the lotion._

_“Would you mind?” Regina asked, dropping her voice and spinning._

_Emma gently moved dark hair over the front of Regina’s shoulders then slowly rubbed cream into the back of Regina’s neck, shoulders and down her back. She hummed and sighed, letting her head fall back as Emma’s fingers worked magic. “You’re good at that,” she sighed, throwing a smirk over her shoulder as Emma’s eyes went wild with lust._

_“You’re so sexy,” she said, mouth practically hanging open by the time she had finished. Regina chuckled, spun Emma around then worked the lotion into her toned muscles. Emma ended up moaning at the hands as they worked over the body. “Dear gods, I’m throbbing just from your touch.”_

_“You’ll just have to come over to the mansion to take a shower after we’ve done sunbathing,” she said, arching a brow suggestively._

_“I suppose I will.” Emma felt her insides do a flip. They’d already slept together a handful of times, but it was the most incredible thing she’d ever felt. Not only was it hot, she would always feel this insatiable need to be closer. To brush her lips over every inch of Regina’s skin and hold her close._

_Emma plopped down then plonked both feet into the pond. Regina quickly followed suit, both palms pressed behind her back as she tipped her head back with closed eyes. “The sun is gorgeous,” she said on a sigh, loving the feel of the warmth caressing her skin._

_“I can see something more gorgeous,” Emma said, eyes running over the woman in affection. “I love you.”_

_Regina’s eyes opened, and she swallowed when she turned her head towards Emma. “I love you, too,” she said softly, connecting their eyes and feeling as if she had her entire world falling into place._

“I knew I was falling head over heels in love with you in that moment,” Regina said, finally looking up to see Emma with glistening eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Emma said, smiling sadly and feeling the jab in her stomach with the decision she was going to make. “I’ll resign and go back to being a sheriff. I’m not leaving you again.” Emma swallowed and lifted her head towards the sky, the stab stronger than she had thought it would be. She loved her job, but she loved her family more.

Regina shook her head and stood, taking a hold of both of Emma’s hands. “You’ll do no such thing,” she said, silencing Emma with a kiss. Then their eyes connected and held. “We’re going to follow you.”  

Regina knew this was what they were going to do the moment Emma’s superior had stepped into the office. It had been running around her mind recently, as she’d watched Emma struggle to adjust to the job in such a small town. Emma had already sacrificed so much; giving up her job to come back to her family. It was time Regina put this woman first.

“But…”

“Shh,” Regina hushed, letting go of one hand to place a finger over Emma’s soft lips. “I know this might be asking too much, but will you trust me to finally do the right thing?”

Emma swallowed and looked into her eyes, unable to move her head. Regina smiled sadly, knowing she had deserved as much. “But last time…”

“Last time I made the biggest mistake of my life. I underestimated so many things, but living without you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” Regina had been through a lot, but spending years without her wife by her side had topped them all.

“I could stay,” she whispered, almost as if she was pleading.

“If you stay,” she said, adjusting so she could cup both of Emma’s cheeks. “I will end up losing you. You’re going to suffocate in this small town and you deserve so much better.”

She leant forwards to kiss Emma’s lips soundly. She melted into Regina’s lips, hands moving to rest on Regina’s hips. They kissed slowly, tenderly, wrapping their tongues together before Regina ended it to push her forehead against Emma’s.

“I can’t lose you,” Emma said, voice taking on a higher pitch to push back on the tears.

“We’re going to New York.” Regina had kept her voice firm and certain, exactly like she felt like within her mind and decision. This was the right call and the choice she was going to follow through on. “How long do you have?”

“Two weeks.”

“Ok…I’m going to ask you to trust me one last time,” she said, moving her head away to once again take a hold of Emma’s hands. She placed them both over her chest as Emma’s bottom lip trembled. “You will have to go alone, but I promise you, my darling. We will follow you.”

Emma nodded and took a deep breath.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the final chapter! There's the tiniest bit of NSFW somewhere mixed in, but it's not much. I do hope you like the conclusion :) 
> 
> Thanks for anyone who's still reading and has reviewed. It does mean a lot. Especially after huge gaps between updates. I do hope you have enjoyed!

Both arms squeezed around Regina’s waist, her stance wide as she moulded to the older woman. Regina’s face was buried in Emma’s neck, arms circled around it and holding on in a far too tight grip that Emma wouldn’t have had any other way. She nuzzled her nose in Regina’s hair, breathing in her scent. With the exception of breathing, Regina didn’t move; content to stay exactly where she was.

“Are you love birds ever going to let go?” Katherine said, balancing a box in her arms and walked through the apartment. “This is all your stuff and you’ve been clinging onto each other like it’s the end of the world.”

“Never,” Emma said, smiling as she popped her head up and placed her chin on Regina’s shoulder. The other woman shook her head, puckered her lips against the dip between Emma’s neck and shoulder then went back to staying buried in her lover’s arms.

“I’m giving you ten more minutes,” she said, spinning her head around to find a place to put the box down. “Then you can help move your stuff into your apartment.” The box was down, and she pointed a finger at the pair before she walked back outside to the moving van.

“Don’t let go,” Regina mumbled, body pressed as closely as she could to Emma’s.

“I got you.” Emma’s palms spread on Regina’s back. She moved them up and down, resulting in sweet sighs and hums from the woman in her arms. It had been months since they had last seen each other, but with the way they clung on, it certainly felt like years had passed.  

_Day one:_

_Regina had woken up for the first time without Emma next to her. She’d clung onto Emma’s pillow all night. Now it was time to drag herself through the day knowing Emma was in another state. Regina had already resigned herself to the fact it was going to be difficult, but shook of the negative thoughts and told herself it wouldn’t be forever._

_A smile appeared when she checked her phone and it stayed for the rest of the day._

_< <I love you x>> the simple message had said. It was enough. _

_\---_

_Day two:_

_< <I miss you x>> had been the message, one which Regina looked at repeatedly throughout the day with a sense longing. _

_\---_

_By day five Regina noticed the pattern._

_\---_

_Day ten:_

_< <Not a day goes by where I don’t think of you x>> _

_\---_

_Two weeks in they arranged a skype date;_

_“I love you,” Emma said for the millionth time since they’d started up the video chat._

_“I love you too, Emma.” Regina chuckled and placed the pad of her finger against the screen affectionately. “Now tell me more about these last two weeks. I want to know everything.”_

_“Including the time I ran out of gum, so my breath smelt like coffee for the entire afternoon which was the grossest thing ever?” Emma scrunched up her nose, then puckered her lips at the screen from where she was propped up in bed._

_Regina rolled her eyes, but a little smirk pushed on the corner of her lips. “Yes, I want to know everything. All the small details like the time you forgot gum.”_

_“Seriously? Why don’t I just write a journal and give it to you on our next anniversary?”_

_“That’s a great idea, my dearest Emma. Fill it with lots of detail.” Regina chuckled as Emma’s eyes grew wide whilst she shook her head. She picked up a pillow and hit the end of it against the laptop. It bounced back and caught her on the forehead. “You are aware you can’t physically hit me with a pillow through a laptop? Or have you lost some braincells since moving to New York?”_

_“Ha. Ha.” Emma rubbed the spot on her head where the zip had hit. It really did serve her right for being that dumb. “I’ll give you the 101 if I can get the same in reverse. I miss you.”_

_“As do I, my love,” she said, eyes staring into ones which appeared so close, but were still so very far away._

_\---_

_Day eighteen:_

_It was their third telephone date; the hour they set aside every Wednesday to simply talk. Regina clung onto the phone and leant her head sideward, not that it made Emma any closer._

_“I helped catch a high profiled criminal today,” Emma said, boasting down the phone._

_“I’m proud of you, sweetheart.” Regina’s heart burst, helped along by the enthusiasm she could hear in Emma’s voice. It had never sounded as such when she’d brought in some kids for vandalising, or broke up a bar fight. “What did he do?”_

_“She, Regina. Women can be criminals too.”_

_“Alright dear.” Regina chuckled, and rolled her eyes. “What was it that she did?”_

_“She persuaded street kids to become drug mules. It was smart, most people go for rich kids used to making easy money, but the kids she chose were desperate and I’m guessing she enticed them with her friendly face. I can’t go into too many details, but she was a piece of work. They’d been after her for months.”_

_“I’m happy for you. Really sounds like you’re enjoying your job?” Regina feigned it as a question, not that she really needed to ask. She plonked down on the couch and grabbed the framed photo of her and Emma from years ago, free hand clutched around it’s edges._

_“Yeah, I am. It really feels like I’m making a difference. Except for the shit ton of paperwork I had to get done. I only got back to the apartment twenty minutes ago. Worth it, though.”_

_“I thought you would’ve been back for a while. Have you eaten yet? Changed? Anything?”_

_“Not yet,” Emma said. “We were due our call.”_

_“Emma, you know we could’ve pushed it back a little.” She smiled down at the photo, the two of them hugging with their heads pressed together as Henry had taken the picture._

_“That’s okay. Who else do I have to share my news with?”_

_Regina sighed at that, counting down the days until she would be able to pull Emma into her arms and congratulate her in other ways. “Why don’t you make yourself something to eat and call me back once you’re not withering away?”_

_“No it’s…” her stomach rumbled and reminded her of the meagre lunch she’d eaten, “erm, yeah. I’ll take a shower too, then we’ll resume this in about an hour? I still need to hear all about your day too.”_

_“Okay darling, speak to you soon. I love you.”_

_“I love you, too,” she said, then hung up the phone._

_Regina busied herself for the next hour, not consumed with thoughts of the woman she loved. As much as she missed her, she knew she had to get on with her life until they could be reunited again. Even when the call didn’t come after almost ninety minutes, she wasn’t worried. Emma was there and they were both putting in the effort to make this work._

_\---_

_Day twenty three:_

_< <Good morning beautiful. We’re a day closer. Hope you’re ready for my arms. Love you x>> _

_\---_

_A month in, they had another skype date. Regina was clutching onto a pillow the entire time Emma was talking. “Oh, Mary Margret decided to annoy me today. Will you please call her back? She wants to know if we’ll be needing any help with the move.”_

_“Oh shit,” Emma said and chuckled. “I forgot about that. I’ll give her a call. But if you see her in the meantime, don’t be a hard ass. Mary Margret and David are like the family I never had, and I would love to see them and let’s be honest. You have enough stuff an army would be needed to help us move in.”_

_“You are the worst.” Emma stuck her tongue out, causing Regina to tighten her hold on the pillow. “If I see her I’ll let her know, but for the love of god. Spare me and call her?”_

_“Ay ay, captain. Still up for movie night on Friday? Sorry about cancelling our Saturday night skype date.”_

_“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you’re making friends. Go out and have fun, and yes, Friday at seven. Henry still hasn’t decided what he wants to watch though.”_

_“Henry’s skyping me on Tuesday and we’re picking a movie together,” Emma said and wiggled her eyebrows; glad they could still concoct plans whilst living in different states._

_“Of course you are.” Regina rolled her eyes, but hugged the pillow closer and took a long sniff. “I miss you,” she mumbled and closed her eyes. It had been so long since she’d had Emma’s touch, she was certain she no longer knew what it felt like._

_“I miss you too,” she said softly. “Is that…is that my pillow?”_

_Regina nodded with her eyes closed and took a deep breath. “It hardly smells like you anymore. I’ve slept cuddled to it every night,” she mumbled, before peeking her eyes open._

_“Baby.” Emma sighed, face scrunching up a little. “Look how quickly this past month has gone. You’ll be in my arms soon enough.” Regina hummed, chin propped up on the pillow which she had clung to her chest, legs outstretched where the laptop rested. “Or I could mail you one of mine? Sleep with it for a few nights, roll around in it then send it without so much as washing it.”_

_Regina felt the laugh bubble in her throat before she’d had the chance to snort. Emma’s eyes gleamed, offering Regina a watery smile._

_“That’s better,” Emma said softly._

_Regina nodded and loosened her grip on the pillow._

_\---_

_Day thirty seven:_

_“You know?” Henry said, with a cocky smirk and being the smart little shit he was growing up to be. “I think I like you better like this. If you tell me to do something I don’t want to, I can just close the laptop and bam…you’re gone.”_

_Emma chuckled through the laptop which rested on the coffee table in front of the couch. Regina raised her eyebrows where she sat next to her son, controller in hand ready to press play for their movie. When she caught Henry’s gaze she winked, recognizing the sarcasm he had grown up with had very much come into play. They only had themselves to blame when he would come out with such things._

_“He’s right dear,” Regina said and smirked at Emma’s face. “I can shut the laptop whenever you decide to annoy me.”_

_“Oh, screw you both.” Emma threw some popcorn at the screen, giggling when it fell to the keyboard. Shrugging, she picked up the pieces and chucked them into her mouth._

_“I thought we went over this with the pillow. You are talking through a laptop darling,” she said slowly, as if Emma was slow at understanding._

_Henry chuckled, grabbed some popcorn and through it at the screen. “What?” he said, shrugging at his mother’s glare. “I had to throw it back.”_

_“Is this how you want to raise our son?” Regina said, grabbed some popcorn and ate a few pieces._

_“He’s a sarcastic little thing who throws popcorn at laptops. Would you really have it any other way?”_

_Henry beamed and Regina threw a few pieces of popcorn at the screen. “You’re a bad influence,” she said, biting hard on her cheek. Emma rolled her eyes, but recognised that look anywhere._

_“I miss you,” she couldn’t stop herself from saying, eyes connecting with Regina’s. “Both of you.”_

_“I miss you too, mom.”_

_“I miss you so much, darling.” Regina smiled softly at the screen then ruffled Henry’s hair. “Anyway, ready to start the movie?”_

_“On the count of three?” Emma said, them already having set the movie to the same time._

_“Three…two…one…” Henry counted down, smiling at the way both of his parents hit play at the same time. It might not be perfect, but for that moment it was the best they had._

_\---_

_Day fifty two:_

_< <The sun rises with your smile, and what a beautiful smile you have. Don’t stop smiling, Regina. It looks good on you. I love you so much x>> _

_\---_

_Almost three months in, they had another Wednesday call. It was closer to the moving date, but the time seemed to slow the closer they became._

_“Mal is doing well,” Regina said, pleased with the woman she was training to become mayor. “I hardly go into the office anymore. I honestly don’t know what to do with all my time.”_

_“Lots of alone time.” Emma’s voice husked down the phone, prompting Regina to roll her eyes whilst feeling a familiar sense of thrill._

_“Hmm, don’t darling, you have no idea how badly I want to touch you.” Her eyes closed and she fell back onto the couch, a small throb springing to life. “It’s been so long.”_

_“And I’m horny as hell,” Emma said and chuckled. “Gods I’ve missed you. I was thinking…maybe on Saturday, we could erm…have a little fun over skype?”_

_Regina eye’s sprung open and her back straightened at the tone. “What are you implying?”_

_“We could watch each other?”_

_“You mean…touch ourselves?” She squeezed her thighs together, knowing she would either end up doing that very shortly or have to take a cold shower. She wasn’t sure which seemed like the best option, considering the tone she was receiving._

_“Yes,” Emma purred. “I want to see your body.”_

_“Naked! Emma! What if someone’s watching us?”_

_Emma snorted down the line. “C’mon Regina? You really think the government is tapping into our skype calls?”_

_“Well…you never know,” she said, not certain if she believed it herself. “We’ll have to make it a little later. I don’t want to risk Henry still being around.”_

_“Hmm, I can’t wait to see you. Maybe we could kind of make it into a date. You know? Get some, then watch a movie together. It’s not the same, I know, but it might be fun.” And Emma didn’t want to end the call the moment they were done. Even if she was in a different state and couldn’t hold onto Regina and cuddle after they’d had sex, she could make sure she knew she meant enough to her that she was worth her time._

_“I’d like that,” she said, smiling softly at the prospect of somehow having almost sex over skype. “Why are you only just suggesting this now? We’ve been apart months.”_

_“Erm…well, I touched myself yesterday,” she mumbled, “and remembered that time in your office and thought how it would be fun to have a repeat. And I miss you and I miss your gorgeous body.”_

_“I miss you too, and seeing you. Hmm, I expect a full view of you.” Regina’s eyes watered over, over more than one thing. How Emma managed to turn her on this much whilst in a completely different state she didn’t know. “Anyway, distraction. We can continue this on Saturday.”_

_“Yes we can. So, I had a thought. I mean, I have zero idea how it works, but have you ever considered running for city council?”_

_“In New York?”_

_“No, in Delaware.”_

_“Funny, Emma and no I haven’t.”_

_“It was just a thought and maybe something you could look into. I think you’d be kickass at it.”_

_Regina smiled, and took a deep breath. “How is it possible I fall even more in love with you, without getting to see you?”_

_“Because I’m the best girlfriend on the planet. And I love you, too.”_

_\---_

_Day ninety six:_

_“I can’t wait for this to be your hand,” Emma said, gently running her fingers through her centre. They’d propped their laptops on top of a small pile of books at the end of their beds, allowing them enough room to move and to see all of each other._

_“Or my mouth.” Regina licked her lips at the sight; Emma sat up against her pillows, legs bent up and spread, hardened nipples on show whilst she explored herself._

_Emma purred, head falling back as she slowly entered herself. Regina bit her lip, continuing to draw soft patterns between her legs. Keeping herself present, but not allowing the sight to tease her to the point of madness. Regina pulled her legs up the same as Emma, other hand falling to her left breast where she squeezed and toyed with her nipple._

_“I’m going to eat you out for hours.” Emma hummed and brought her head back up, locking eyes with the smirking woman. “Till the point I can’t taste anything but you.”_

_“Is that so?” Regina chuckled, slowly entering herself with two fingers. She’d already had one orgasm. The sight of her girlfriend pulling her undone as she’d slowly undressed in front of the camera had been enough for her to begin touching herself before her own clothes were even off. Emma had beamed, laughed and promised another strip tease in the future whilst they were in the same room._

_“You’ll be coming in my mouth for hours,” she said and winked._

_Regina laughed, slowly pulsing those fingers at a pleasurable pace._

_“This is nice,” she said, removing her wet fingers and spreading it over her core._

_She smiled softly at Emma. She’d half expected them to undress, get turned on by each other and use dirty talk to get each other off, but so far they’d taken things slow, talked to each other whilst they pleasured themselves._

_It reminded Regina how comfortable she had always felt around her girlfriend. There’s was no one else she’d ever been with where she could relax to this extent during sex._

_“Very nice,” Emma purred, zeroing in on the fingers moving between Regina’s legs. She bit her lip and entered herself, bucking her hips up to meet her fingers. “I love you.”_

_“I love you, too,” Regina replied, all gooey eyed then pushed inside herself. “Now come for me, my darling. Let me watch you come undone.” She slowly moved her hips into her fingers, building a small amount of pressure, but nothing that would result in her eyes slamming shut and missing out on the sight of Emma’s impending orgasm._

_“As you wish,” she said and winked._

_Emma lay back a little further, head lulled back with both her eyes closed and worked both hands between her legs. One inside of her and one rubbing ferociously as a pair of dark eyes glazed over, moaning and humming as she watched her girlfriend slowly build up to her release._

_\---_

_Day one hundred:_

_< <We may have been apart for one hundred days, but my love for you has grown each and every day. I miss and love you. One more week and I’m going to show you exactly how much you mean to me x>> _

_\---_

_Two nights before the move:_

_“Emma, I did something dumb,” Regina said the moment the other woman was on the line. She bit her lip and cursed herself, desperate to see her girlfriend’s beautiful face._

_“What?” Emma’s heart beat hard in her chest, not having expected the phone call to begin with._

_“I already packed up the laptop, so we can’t have our skype date,” she said in one rushed breath. She had been looking forwards to this, the same as Emma and Henry. She literally face palmed her forehead then sat slowly on the couch. “I miss you and want to see you, I was being an idiot.”_

_“Is that is?” Emma said and let out a rushed breath. “You scared the shit out of me. Regina, it’s fine. No biggie. You’re both going to be here in two days and if you think my arms are going to be constantly wrapped around the both of you, then you are absolutely right.”_

_“Oh my gods Emma, I didn’t mean to scare you. Everything is already packed up,” she said, eyes scanning around the empty mansion. “And if you think for one moment you’re allowed to let to go of me, then you’re wrong my darling. The only exception to not hugging me is your hugging Henry.”_

_“What about if I gotta pee?” Emma chuckled and Regina rolled her eyes._

_“Hold it in. You’ve had three months to pee.”_

_“Seriously?” Emma laughed, butterflies bubbling up in her stomach. “I’ve really missed you.”_

_“I’ve missed you, too.”_

_\---_

_Night before the move:_

_“Mom?” Henry shuffled from foot to foot, waiting for his mother to look up from the book she was reading._

_“Yes, sweetheart?” She slipped in the bookmark and placed the book on the couch besides her._

_“We are moving tomorrow, right?”_

_“Of course, Henry,” she said and stood. After walking across the bare room she pulled her son into her arms, holding him tight. “I’m sorry how I handled things last time. I’m sorry I kept things from you.” Henry clasped his hands together around his mother’s back, squeezing his eyes, grateful for the tight hold. “I promise you we are moving tomorrow. I love you and your mother more than anything on this planet. I was wrong to think of anything as more important than this family.”_

_He nodded against her chest then pulled back with a beaming smile. “Love you too, mom. I can’t wait to see mom.”_

_“Me too,” she said and cupped his chin. She took a deep breath, knowing it was the last night her family would ever be separated again._

_***_

Regina’s back elevated as she breathed in deeply, deflating against Emma’s chest. Her head popped up, smiling softly at Emma. “I think I’m good,” she whispered, chuckling at the lips which pressed to her own.

Regina moaned and closed her eyes as lips pushed down firmly. The kiss only lasted a few seconds before Emma pulled back, then tangled her fingers in Regina’s dark hair to push it behind her ear.

“You sure?” Emma asked. “Once I let go we’re going to have to help move the stuff. If we hug for longer we might get out of the entire thing.”

“I heard that,” Mary Margret shouted as she entered the room, very quickly smiling at the way they were still embraced. She shook her head and sighed. “It’s so nice to see this again.”

Emma chuckled and finally let go, squeezing Regina’s biceps before walking over to her friend. She took the box from her arms then placed it near the large window.

“She’s the love of my life,” she stated simply, to which Regina hummed and gazed at her girlfriend with adoration.

Once everything had been moved from the van into the now crowded apartment, the six of them fell back onto the couch which was sitting in the middle of the room. Henry was sat directly in the middle, where the couch bent at a ninety degree angle, the two lengths long enough to fit the rest of the adults in the room.

“Man,” Katherine said then yawned. “You sure have a lot of stuff, Regina.”

“It was Henry’s too.” Regina gave her best friend a pointed glare, before shuffling backwards into the arm which rested on the back of the couch. It quickly fell around her shoulders, as she leaned into Emma’s side.

“Don’t be blaming the kid.”

“Yeah mom, you’ve gotten more than me and mom combined.”

“Those boxes were heavy too,” David said, on a wink. “What in the world did you have in there?”

Mary Margret playfully slapped his arm. “It’s not polite to ask a woman such things.”

“For once I’ll have to agree,” Regina said, letting her shoes fall from her feet with two thuds before curling her legs up with a contented sigh. “And thank you, the both of you, for helping.”

“You’re very welcome,” Mary Margret said, to which David nodded in agreement.

“If you’d ever like to visit, just give us a call.” Regina smiled at the couple, swallowing her pride for the sake of the woman who promptly placed a kiss to the back of her head.

“That would be lovely,” she said and smiled at Regina.

“Do I not get to visit?” Katherine placed a hand over her heart and spun towards her friends. “Is our friendship no longer good enough?”

“Stop being so melodramatic,” Emma said and rolled her eyes. “You’ll always be welcome here. No matter how annoying you are.”

Henry chuckled at the face Katherine made, pulling himself right back to spread his arms over the bend in the couch. “I think I’m gunna like it here,” he said, beaming at his mothers.

“Me too,” Regina said and twisted her head, hair falling over Emma’s shoulder to look upwards. Emma didn’t waste a second in tipping her head and planting a soft kiss over those lips.

“Me three,” she whispered, gently closing her lips over Regina’s a few more times until there was a collective groan from the room. “Just wait until tonight.”

Emma wiggled her eyebrows, which caused another collective groan. Henry placed a palm over his eyes, but Katherine made eye contact with Emma and nodded. She tapped her pocket to which Emma nodded once then focused her attention back on Regina. For the moment, their eyes connected and everything else faded away.

***

“He’s out cold,” Emma stated, leaning against Henry’s bedroom door. Regina came up behind her, wrapping both arms around her waist.

“It’s been a long day,” Regina said and propped her chin on Emma’s shoulder. “Let him sleep.”

“Another minute,” Emma said on a sigh, eyes glued firmly to her sleeping son. She would have held him for as long as she had Regina if his body hadn’t begun to squirm once he’d deemed the hug long enough.

They stayed for almost another five, until Emma sighed and gently closed the door. They made their way back to the other room, the rest of their friends having retired to a hotel for the evening. Regina grabbed onto Emma’s hands and pulled them until one was on her hip, the other clasped into her own. She placed her spare hand on Emma’s shoulder, slowly swaying them.

Emma smiled, their conjoined hands floating into the air and holding as they stepped from side to side. The hand on Regina’s waist moved to her lower back, her fingers brushing under the material until she touched skin. Regina sighed and looked directly into Emma’s eyes.

“I love you,” she said, dancing gently around the space they had created. “You’re my world, Emma. I need you to know that I’m here for you, too.”

“I love you, too, Regina.” Emma smiled and closed some more distance between their bodies. Their fronts brushed, feet stepping from side to side as Regina tightened her hold on the younger woman.

Emma’s head fell to her shoulder and Regina let go of Emma’s hand in favour of wrapping both arms around her lover.

“I’ve got you,” she whispered, holding onto her as if it was the most important job in the world. “You’ve been perfect these last few months in supporting me. I’m so grateful. You have no idea how much those morning messages meant to me.”

“I wanted you to feel wanted,” she murmured, eyes closed and cheek squashed against Regina’s shoulder. She hummed and hugged Regina back, feeling content to let go and have her girlfriend lead for the moment. Regina held her tightly, continuing to sway and dance with her life partner, running fingers through her hair and placing gentle kisses anywhere she could reach.

After some time, they ended up next to the large window overlooking the city. Regina wrapped her arms around Emma from behind and held her as they observed the busy city streets. “It’s so beautiful,” she said, unable to take her eyes away from the scene.

“It really is.”

They stayed embraced for the moment, until Emma began to shuffle from foot to foot. Regina loosened her grip and frowned when Emma spun and smiled sheepishly.

“Is something wrong?”

Emma shook her head, lips pressed firmly together. On a deep breath, she took a hold of Regina’s hand and dug into her pocket. With her forefinger and thumb pressed at the bottom, she presented Regina’s original engagement ring and blushed.

“Marry me?” she asked, eyes glistening and purposefully keeping it without the huge speech. They’d already done that. This time was simple and about them righting the mistakes. “All that matters is us, our love and family. I want nothing more than for you to be my wife.”

Regina’s eyes went wide, heart beating so fast it pounded within her ears. Without any conscious thought her head was nodding and bottom lip trembling before she dived into Emma, arms circling her neck and almost knocked her over.

“Yes,” she whispered, peppering kisses to Emma’s neck and shoulder. Her head popped up with a glistening smile. She chuckled through the tears, nodding repeatedly. “I never thought you’d…”

“I want you, Regina. Everything I’ve ever wanted is right here.”

“But where did you get…?”

“Katherine snatched it out from underneath your nose,” Emma said and kissed her future wife. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

She presented her left hand for Emma. The gentleness saw to it the tips of her fingers brushed against Regina’s as she slowly slid the ring back where it was always meant to be.

“Do you have yours?” Regina asked, flexing her fingers and getting used to seeing the simple, yet beautiful sliver ring.

Emma giggled and pulled out the ring from her other pocket. She handed it to Regina, who applied it with the same gentleness. They intertwined their fingers, engagement rings shining as they did and squeezed tightly. Regina stood on her tip toes to kiss Emma, firmly and soundly.

“Take me to bed,” she muttered and fell back onto her heels with devotion in her eyes and a devilish smirk.

“Hmm, finally.”

Emma crouched at an odd angle, one arm under Regina’s knees, the other around her shoulders.

“Emma?” What are you-”

Emma laughed and scooped her up bridal style. Regina’s eyes went wide, arms circling Emma’s neck.

“Don’t you dare drop me,” she said, feet kicking in the air.

“Relax baby. I’ve got you.”

All it took was one look for Regina to nod, feeling it cascade over her. Emma only had to take a few steps before they both giggled on the way to their very intimate catch up.   

“How did I ever fall in love with you?” Regina smiled and kissed her forehead, butterflies hitting her stomach.

“I’m the best fiancée, soon to be best wife in the entire world.” Emma hurled Regina onto the bed, causing her to bounce up and roll her eyes. She reached her arms out to Emma who crawled up the bed and over Regina’s body. “And I love you, too.”

“Then show me.”

“Gladly,” Emma said, sitting up and straddled her hips. Regina hummed and arched her back whilst nimble fingers began working on the buttons of her blouse.  


End file.
